Hi I'm new to the site. In fact it's my first chat site ever. I've never really thought of myself as being depressed until recently..... I lost my younger brother in a terrible and violet carjacking (he was the victim who lost his life while the criminal got a few bumps and bruises). Yes I'm still angry, confused, scared and depressed over the loss of his life and not sure how to deal with it. Most recently I lost my job and have been unable to find a new job. I've always put my family and career first before myself. I am always the strong one that needs and holds my family together....I'm not sure if I can do it anymore. I've been married for over 27 years years to my high school sweetheart and we have 2 children, but this too has fallen apart. He is constantly going out and staying out late at the bar playing pool and I believe he is having an affair but denies it. I've been a good strong, dependable wife and mother for over 27 years. I don't abuse my children, I don't drink (occasional wine)' I do not smoke, I do not do drugs, I've been faithful, I keep a clean and organized house, I am (was) the main income earner, I manage the household finances....basically I thought I was doing everything right in life and now realized that nothing good has comes of it.... Maybe it was the loss of my brother and the loss of my job that made me realize i don't really have anyone in my life to talk to about it. You would think that my husband would be here to help me he is not.... Because I am the strong one for my family and friends it's hard to go to them about how I feel so'i am reaching out online in hopes to find someone to talk to.