Need a guiding force...

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Adrea Saltrock, Sep 28, 2010.

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  1. Adrea Saltrock

    Adrea Saltrock New Member

    "Everything is wonderful and no one is happy."

    Hello. Thanks for listening, if anyone comes across this post.

    I'm 19. I started my sophomore year of college about a month ago, and I feel exactly the same way I did this time last year. I'm lonely---I don't really have anyone I can talk to from day to day. I don't see anything to look forward to. I feel empty, confused, awkward, and disorganized. I've had severe depression in the past. I constantly feel an unexplainable sense of guilt---like I'll never be good enough.

    I got my driver's license a couple weeks ago, and am using a car I saved for myself, which I guess is a really great thing, but it doesn't make me feel better anymore. I still live with my parents. It saves money, but I live with my dysfunctional family. I feel trapped in my parents' misfortune---financial, marital, organizational, and other similar issues. They fight about it every morning. Ear plugs help, but I shouldn't have to do that. We're hardly a family; more like roommates---each of us goes about our own schedule and then hides in our respective bedrooms with a computer screen or TV at the end of the day.

    I'm at a community college right now working through my first two years. I still need to pick a major for when I transfer to a university. Feel a clock ticking and this terrible pressure to know exactly what I'm supposed to do with myself, but I'm at a loss---all I have are loose-ended, useless ideas.

    My mood swings---here and there I'll feel ecstatic and wonder why I ever complained.

    I want to feel worthy and grounded. I want friends, excitement, and intimacy. Everything feels out of control right now, but there's really nothing wrong in my life. I'm trying to be conscientious and I'm heading in the right direction, hopefully. I'm sure many if not most young adults around me feel the same way, but I just feel so isolated and hopeless.

    Thanks again.
  2. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    I know exactly how you feel about your family - mine is the same way. We're ruled by our televisions and computers, and hate each other, anyway.

    Welcome to SF
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and glad you found us...there are so many ppl who understand what you have posted...hope you find the company and support you desire...welcome again, big hugs, J
  4. dreams4life

    dreams4life Well-Known Member

    Hi, thank you for sharing your pain with us. Just finished college here. I know how you feel. It will get better as the semester goes further. Be hopeful. Concentrate on your studies and think, not worry about your future plans. Worrying doesn't add to anything. You have accomplished a lot. About the family, I hope and pray that it works out. This electronic age had destroyed many families. Why don't you open up to them with a lot of patience? Hopefully you can bring some good changes. :smile:
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forum. Don't feel so pressured about declaring a major for when you transfer to the university. You still have time to make those decisions. Many people go in with general or university studies because they really don't know. Something will catch your interest eventually. I am sorry to hear about the struggles of your parents and the affects it is having on you. That too will ease up as you move forward and eventually away from home. Have you tried talking to your parents? Might be time to set them down and make them listen. You are no longer a child and your voice should be heard.
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Welcome to the forums.. Are there any groups you might join?? They have meds for the mood swings..
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Just want to say hi welcome to SF
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