"Everything is wonderful and no one is happy."
Hello. Thanks for listening, if anyone comes across this post.
I'm 19. I started my sophomore year of college about a month ago, and I feel exactly the same way I did this time last year. I'm lonely---I don't really have anyone I can talk to from day to day. I don't see anything to look forward to. I feel empty, confused, awkward, and disorganized. I've had severe depression in the past. I constantly feel an unexplainable sense of guilt---like I'll never be good enough.
I got my driver's license a couple weeks ago, and am using a car I saved for myself, which I guess is a really great thing, but it doesn't make me feel better anymore. I still live with my parents. It saves money, but I live with my dysfunctional family. I feel trapped in my parents' misfortune---financial, marital, organizational, and other similar issues. They fight about it every morning. Ear plugs help, but I shouldn't have to do that. We're hardly a family; more like roommates---each of us goes about our own schedule and then hides in our respective bedrooms with a computer screen or TV at the end of the day.
I'm at a community college right now working through my first two years. I still need to pick a major for when I transfer to a university. Feel a clock ticking and this terrible pressure to know exactly what I'm supposed to do with myself, but I'm at a loss---all I have are loose-ended, useless ideas.
My mood swings---here and there I'll feel ecstatic and wonder why I ever complained.
I want to feel worthy and grounded. I want friends, excitement, and intimacy. Everything feels out of control right now, but there's really nothing wrong in my life. I'm trying to be conscientious and I'm heading in the right direction, hopefully. I'm sure many if not most young adults around me feel the same way, but I just feel so isolated and hopeless.
Thanks again.
Hello. Thanks for listening, if anyone comes across this post.
I'm 19. I started my sophomore year of college about a month ago, and I feel exactly the same way I did this time last year. I'm lonely---I don't really have anyone I can talk to from day to day. I don't see anything to look forward to. I feel empty, confused, awkward, and disorganized. I've had severe depression in the past. I constantly feel an unexplainable sense of guilt---like I'll never be good enough.
I got my driver's license a couple weeks ago, and am using a car I saved for myself, which I guess is a really great thing, but it doesn't make me feel better anymore. I still live with my parents. It saves money, but I live with my dysfunctional family. I feel trapped in my parents' misfortune---financial, marital, organizational, and other similar issues. They fight about it every morning. Ear plugs help, but I shouldn't have to do that. We're hardly a family; more like roommates---each of us goes about our own schedule and then hides in our respective bedrooms with a computer screen or TV at the end of the day.
I'm at a community college right now working through my first two years. I still need to pick a major for when I transfer to a university. Feel a clock ticking and this terrible pressure to know exactly what I'm supposed to do with myself, but I'm at a loss---all I have are loose-ended, useless ideas.
My mood swings---here and there I'll feel ecstatic and wonder why I ever complained.
I want to feel worthy and grounded. I want friends, excitement, and intimacy. Everything feels out of control right now, but there's really nothing wrong in my life. I'm trying to be conscientious and I'm heading in the right direction, hopefully. I'm sure many if not most young adults around me feel the same way, but I just feel so isolated and hopeless.
Thanks again.