Need a hug

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by angelgold, Aug 18, 2007.

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  1. angelgold

    angelgold New Member


    I am feeling like ending it all everything is going wrong and it is neverending.
    I have an autistic son and he is beating me up when he gets annoyed he cannot help it as he is special needs and has a condition that makes him very large for his age also he is screaming and scratching himself. I have to stay home all day and care for him i cannot go out very much because it is really difficult with his temper and disability. His father left me because he couldn't cope with it all and went off with a woman 20 years younger than him. I also have two daughters to look after. Everday i find it hard to get out of bed i dont want antidepressants as i have been on loads before and none of them worked . I have asked social services for help but they just forget me so i am past caring now. People tell me to think of my kids when i tell them i am suicidal but how can i? I just want to leave all this behind but i feel that people will see me as an evil person for killing myself and not looking after my kids but i can't i just cant. I just don't want to be in this horrible evil world anymore it will not change i will be like this forever if i don't do it.
  2. Driretlanii

    Driretlanii Active Member

    ok, this may sound just crazy but... how in-touch are you with your son? I mean, are you able to reach him, or not at all? ...cos I've worked with disabled youth, and I had some autists there, and Asperger's sindrom also... and to some I was able to reach and some I wasn't... I read about it a lot during those times, and I did what some find insane: to those I could reach I taught them to play chess, and to the other kid I got a dog... The chess playing did help them, they were a lot more calm in the end of my experience there... and the pet approach is actually recommended not only to those with disabilities but also for those with depression. Well, maybe it's worth a try...
    Anyway, here's a big hug for ya! :hug:
  3. silent_enigma

    silent_enigma Well-Known Member

    Jeez there oughta be some govt. service that will take care of him. Sounds like you aren't able to handle the stress of him. He'd be better of living in an institution or something than you killing yourself. That's what I'd do. I'd turn him over to custody of the state, so that he's off my hands. It'd be easier for him than finding a parent's dead body. You know?
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