need a reason

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Wastingecho, Aug 5, 2016.

  1. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    it's all too much

    need a reason to stay that i can actually believe in

    why stay otherwise?
     
  2. HeretoHelpz

    HeretoHelpz Member

    What is all to much wastingecho? Explain what your going through and i will do my best to help you
     
  3. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Echo, you have been around long enough to know how this works. We cant help you unless you talk to us and tell us what is going on right now that makes it feel like there is no hope.
     
    Freya and HeretoHelpz like this.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there @Wastingecho please talk to us some more or even just vent and let it all out. We are here for you :)
     
  5. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    can't pinpoint a reason - no sudden event

    everything is just monumentally wrong

    feelings are crushing me AND I CAN'T TELL WHY

    can't stand being in my own skin
     
  6. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I hope you are safe Echo, if not get on the phone to someone or get to a hospital, dont keep ruminating, you must get some help, from anywhere and anyone. I/we cannot help you from here, not when you feel this bad, only encourage you to try and get somehwere safe as soon as you can ok.
     
  7. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    if "safe" means locked up that is one nightmare i will never go through again

    everytime i've tried to talk to "professionals" i've ended up lied to and sitting in the ER in cuffs

    all I can do is scream and hope I can hold on

    at this point I just don't want to feel anything for a while

    is that so wrong?
     
  8. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Nope, not at all, I am just concerned about you is all. I have been there as well, so have some empathy with where you are coming from. I cant help but care about people here.

    I am sorry that you have had such bad experiences with doctors and psyches and wards blah de blah. Its wrong that it should happen that way.
     
  9. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    tired of being exhausted and marginalized and ignored and alone
     
  10. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Well I for one am not ignoring you. I am in theUK, its after 2am and as per usual I cant sleep, so I kinda understand tired and exhausted. The alone bit? Stuck there, but are you alone when online as well?
     
  11. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    this is all i can do - can't handle chat rooms - no friends in 20 years - even my wife hasn't touched me in 3 years

    can't even reach out here unless the pain is overwhelming

    i know i'm going to die alone anyway

    can't stay up - body won't give me a choice any more - promise i haven't done anything but wish i won't wake up
     
  12. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Been ill for 9 yrs, all friends gone bar one, no sex life due to illness, no social life, virtual recluse, I think I have some idea what you are going through right now. I cant tell you it gets better, I just fight each day just to stay alive. I am fortunate I am in therapy, on medication and trying at least to get my mental state stable. The physical side wont change. So we sound like we have something in common.
     
  13. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    therapy doesn'the work for me - don'the trust them any more

    been on medsome for years and all I got from them was side effects
     
  14. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Quite simple. The impossible promise.
     
  15. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Have you actually tried all forms of therapy? If not, you dont know if they work or not. Dont just assume something wont work because you dont like the sound of it or you read some negative comments online. Group therapy has done some good in my own instance. Its not a miracle cure, it hasn't made me feel instantly better about myself, but it got me out of my prison of a home, got me meeting a few people again, in a safe environment and it offered a little purpose to my day.

    Meds are funny, some work, some dont, its finding the right ones and combinations. But if you get side effects? What have you tried so far?
     
  16. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    tried group, one-on-one - i freeze up retreat and can'take talk

    can't remember the names of all the different med and types of meds - after the last one my doc said he gives up
     
  17. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Have you tried hypnotherapy? If you struggle to talk, maybe that can help open the lines up a little? Have you tried anything like accupuncture at all? That and reflexology can do some strange old things to body and mind.
     
  18. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    don't trust therapists any more - burned too many times

    acupuncture would bring on a panic attack - i don't handles needles in my body well

    and i feel someone else's touch would just freak me out - can't even hug my own daughters without getting tense and feeling my blood pressure start to rise

    been putting up with this since 1974 and i'm so damned sick and tired of fighting all the time
     
  19. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid Safety & Support SF Supporter

    If you want to recover at all and reclaim your life, you need to trust in something or someone at some point. You cant fix yourself, so you need help and support, but you seem hellbent on refusing everything and everyone. Something in the spectrum of mental health, which lets face it, is pretty broad, will be of help to you, but you have to be prepared to allow whatever it is to help you but I just sense a complete reluctance to accept help or that anything or anyone can help.

    I have learnt a huge amount about mental health issues in the last 3 months. I knew nothing before then. The techniques and treatments available are so far reaching its hard to comprehend. Have you tried ECT? Its heading into "last resort" territory, but it might help. You are sedated for it, so you dont "feel" any pain through it.
     
    shania likes this.