Need advice for my Father

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Usdi, Jul 10, 2016.

  1. Usdi

    Usdi New Member

    My sister took her life on the Fourth of July. She was 56. It was the 2nd anniversary of my Mother's death. My nearly 86 year old Father is fairly distraught. There is a lot to unpack here, but the short version is this. My parents divorced when we were young after he had a brain tumor removed. He left and never returned. That started the emotional pain for my sister. She was hit by a car in her twenties, and had chronic pain ever after that. She had three failed marriages, but was always close to my Mother, and cared for her to the end. When she lost our Mother, she lost her purpose, and was left with only pain. Just a couple of hours before she took her life, she called my Father. He thinks he missed something, that he could have saved her. How do I let him know it's not his fault, and that there was nothing he could have done? She was over a thousand miles away, and woke him up with the call. I could really use some advice on how to help him with his grief.
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I just want to say I'm deeply sorry for your loss. There are no winners when it comes to suicide. Would your dad go to counselling, maybe that would help? It's most definitely not his fault and he needs to start believing that, bless him :(
  3. mpk

    mpk Well-Known Member

    Usdi, please accept my sympathies for your loss. Try to explain to your father that sometimes the signs are not there to be seen and that it is not his fault that this happened.
  4. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Alumni

    Usdi, it is definitely not your father's fault. No more then it would be anyone's fault but mine if I took my own life. Suicide is a very personal choice and many people give no signs that they are even considering it. Then there are others who make pacts with friends that they will not take their life, but still do it. No friend is able to stop them. I am very sorry for your loss. Counseling is a very good option. It will be had for your father to accept that this was not his fault. But it wasn't. Your sister had made up her mind.