need advice on recovering from sexual assault

ryuko

faitodayo!!
SF Supporter
#1
hi, i was a victim of sexual assault a week ago. ive went to the police and everything so on that part im good; however, i cant feel emotion. i cant feel sad, angry, or happy. ive been giving myself time to cry but nothing will come out. i really want some advice on how to stop being so numb and grieve properly.
 

Petal

~*Mod Extraordinaire*~
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#2
Hi there, I'm so sorry to hear of what you have been through and what you are going through. I think you should see a therapist that specialises in sexual assault. I'm glad to hear you went to the police, this person needs to be held accountable for their actions. Therapy is the first thing you should try and do and see what follows on from there. Do you have a supportive family/partner? Your general doctor should be able to refer you to see someone too for that bit of extra support. You are brave for speaking out and reporting this person, well done. *hug
 

Rain416

Trying to Stay Strong
#3
I am sorry this happened to you. It is good you have gone to the police. Are you able to look into a trauma therapist like Petal said? Finding the right one can really help, even though it can take time.

Regarding your emotions, that can also take time. I felt numb for a while, too. I can understand why this is bothering you. Just know that this is a normal response, and you're not grieving "improperly"; Some people feel this way after assault.
 

Walker

Admin
SF Social Media
SF Author
SF Supporter
#4
Hi there - just checking on you and seeing how you're doing. You haven't been back on since you posted really so ... check in soon okay? we're all here when you want to talk.
 

ryuko

faitodayo!!
SF Supporter
#5
hi, my apologies for not responding, currently im as okay as i can be, and im getting therapy soon.

the situation as far as i know is, hes done it in the past, (which is a mega yikes) and hes currently in jail. honestly it's been really hard knowing that it's happened in the past, and the whole thing with me was a plan.
 

kdm

SF Supporter
#6
well i am in shock that the police /authoritys did not give you some kind of help in dealing with this atleast in the short term and since it just happened recently i find it disgusting that they didnt atleast point you in the right direction .thats appaling to me .

i have spoken to more than i wish i had too that this has happened too on SF many are hmm reserved and choose not to speak about it in public others are no longer here @SF or havent been for awhile .

i hope someone steps up that has been thru what you have gone thru and can offer you some 1st hand advice that might help

just know if your ever in need of someone to talk to and u see me in the chat list my pm is allways open for you to pm me at anytime
 

Bbear82

Well-Known Member
#7
hi, I am so sorry that this has happened to you. I understand truly how hard it is to feel emotion after sexual assult I know I did. its good that you are starting therapy, I hope it helps in some small way. give yourself time to grieve from this trauma. there is no straight answer to how long this will effect you. make sure you take care of you. do things that make you feel safe and NEVER blame yourself for it, it was NOT your fault in anyway. I have been going to therapy for some time now and it helps but it still affects me. try to be kind to yourself I understand that is difficult to do and not always easy. I know how easy it is to hear or say its not your fault and easier said then done at times. please know you are not alone here and you will be given a lot of support, we all care and will all listen to as much or as little as you want to share. my inbox is always open so if you want/need to talk I am more than happy to be there for you
 
#8
I am so sorry for what happened sweetheart. My advice is to see a professional and give your self space to process the situation. Often there is a gap between the accident and the psychological reactions maybe days, maybe weeks even months sometimes. Because your brain is on state right now you would not be able to react as you need to.

Furthermore make your self a favor and don't think you are broken because you are not grieving as the society wants to(For example crying or suicidal thoughts) everyone has a different mindset and react different in every situation. Moreover if you can stay away from news and violent scenes that can remind you the accident until you visit a professional.

That's my opinion girl. Please if you have something new or you want to share you feelings give a shout out. I would like to hear from you
 

MusicMoggy

Well-Known Member
#9
hey ryuko, just wanted to send hugs and also hope you're doing ok. It's going to be a lot to process and feeling numb is a natural response... don't feel you have to react a certain way. I'm glad therapy is coming, talking through everything will be the key to moving forward and you will get through this. I hope you'll come back here for support also, outside of therapy... lots of love and understanding here :)

Take care, and hopefully here from you soon *hugs
 

Kikuhiko

Cleric of the Moonlight
#10
Don't worry about emotions you aren't feeling right now, for me personally it took over 7 years to cry over it for the first time, if I'm honest I had completely forgotten it had even happened and then one random day it sort of came to me & I started sobbing uncontrollably, I felt so stupid & humiliated, but I'm an idiot & I kept it to myself, I didn't tell anyone what was going on (Nobody saw me cry anyway) and I tried to bottle it up, then I talked to some friends online (About other things, but they were aware I was upset about something, they just didn't know what), I calmed doesn't & after a few months I started feeling fine, relatively of course, if I'm honest to this day I'm still not very comfortable with physical contact in general but now it feels awkward, back then it genuinely terrified me.

I don't know what kind of advise I can give you, but I do know that talking about it helps more than not doing it.
 

ryuko

faitodayo!!
SF Supporter
#11
i hope its okay to bump a year and a half old thread, i guess i should give an update.

he did not be in jail for very long, i did get a protective order. the case was dismissed, and it still hurts.

this whole time i havent cried about it, but yet i can't draw anymore bc the memory about the assault appears in my head.
 

Catch_22

Well-Known Member
#13
i hope its okay to bump a year and a half old thread, i guess i should give an update.

he did not be in jail for very long, i did get a protective order. the case was dismissed, and it still hurts.

this whole time i havent cried about it, but yet i can't draw anymore bc the memory about the assault appears in my head.
I am a survivor too, this is very helpful for me to read. It's scary to know when they are out again, huh.
 

Anon543

Active Member
#14
i am so sorry. you aren't alone there. others struggle too with this. need a friend, im here. one thing i believe no excuse for any kind of rape and all rapists must get nothing less than death.
 

Bbear82

Well-Known Member
#15
Hi again,
I am so glad you have given us an update. I understand how the charges being dropped can and are devastating. Just remember it’s there guilt to carry not yours. You did nothing wrong. I need to learn to listen to myself when I tell you that. However for you I truly believe that it is true. Are you still in therapy? The grieving process is different for everyone so there is no “set” time that your going to feel better or move on. I can tell you it will get better a little at a time. It was a traumatic experience and you may always carry the emotional scares but ITS going to get better and you will be safe. Remember to take care of yourself.
 

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