Need advice really soon

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by kaloo, May 28, 2011.

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  1. kaloo

    kaloo Member

    Hi everyone, I have just joined this site. Cannot believe it has come to this. I don't know where to start, how much information to share or how this all works. But right now I need some advice please. Without putting anything in context as yet, I have been attending therapy since Oct 2010, feel it is helping but just not fast enough, so yesterday I went back to my doctor and asked for anti-depressants which have been sitting on the table in front of me since 4.30pm this afternoon. I cannot make a decision to take the first one - I know pride comes before a fall, but I'm not ok with not being able to handle how I'm feeling without resorting to medication.

    As embarassed as I am to be writing this, I have been actively suicidal for over 12 months and have gone from the developed plan, to catching myself on and coming back from the edge. I am well fed up with feeling like this. Two friends are aware of how things are for me - but I need input from elsewhere. To be frank, I have checked up online tonight if it is possible to overdose on the meds successfully, seems not. Then I try to put logic to my thoughts and realise I WILL still be here tomorrow. But this is hard and I'm tired of the struggle, feeling lonely and that noone cares about me like I need them to.

    I am a 32 year old professional working in the caring profession with a successful career and to the outside world I come across as a competent and confident person. All of this is true from 9-5pm. After that I am a wreck. Anyone who feels they can spare time to respond, I would be most grateful.
     
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    :welcome:
     
  3. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    Welcome to SF! Taking the meds as perscribed would be a good start. They won't hurt you at all. What are they? Many of us have been on many different antidepressants, and other antipsychotics, so we can kind of guage how they may affect you.

    Let us know how you are doing! :hug:
     
  4. kaloo

    kaloo Member

    They are called lexapro.
     
  5. tweetypie

    tweetypie Antiquities Friend

    hello :) i know meds must seem like a huge step but you have already taken half of that step by getting them. I was like yourself and didnt think meds are the answer immediately but sometimes its necessary. No one will push you to do anything you dont want to do but we will sit and listen and hopefully offer you some good advice. xx
     
  6. Craig

    Craig Banned Member

    Those pills effect everyone diffrently. Finding one that really works for you will take time if you go down that road. You will need 1-2 months before you see how your mind reacts to them and then time to get off the meds before trying a new one.

    I think you need to ask yourself if you feel that you just have problems dealing with something or if your on some level unstable. If your just down drugs can help you get through it but could just become a crutch. If you are on some level unstable even moving past this issue will still mean that you may end back where you started from something else.

    I guess I dont have answers for you. Thats just how I feel about medication for treatment. Nobody can make this decision for you and it is something not to be taken lightly.

    I hope things get better for you whatever route you take.
     
  7. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    therapy is a marathon, not a sprint... keep going and you will eventually start seeing a difference. i promise

    as for anti depressants, sometimes depression comes from a chemical imbalance, and if that's the case in your situation then the anti depressants will def. help. at this point, what do you really have to lose, except i suppose your pride.

    i felt much better once i started on anti depressants. i was unmedicated for a long time and really suffered.

    keep posting... you will find a lot of support here.
     
  8. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    If the only thing we needed to do in life is to make great money, look good, and have all the latest gadgets; then we would all be set. The reality is that the real purpose in life is far more fulfilling, but few ever consider where to go to get it. I personally took a spiritual journey that lead me to the only path that gave me all the answers. No I did not get it by going to a place and paying them to teach me. I prayed for enlightenment got the book of answers and read until I was done. I get life now, and I understand everything. Including myself understanding myself, and how to find the happiness I need. That we all need.
    I personally have found nothing productive in medicine. It numbs for a while, but I always built a tolerance shortly after that. This has been the healthiest and most successful way of living my life, and I hope you give it a shot before you give up completely. Blessings..
     
  9. kaloo

    kaloo Member

    Having read the replies, I think I will sleep on it tonight and consider it again tomorrow. I have read some other posts and somehow feel that the reasons why I feel the way I do are much less valid than those of others. And yes, I know everything is relative to individuals and their levels of resilience and coping mechanisms. But feeling like this is pretty crap. Thank you all for taking the time to reply.
     
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