Need advice, undoing Social Anxiety on my own

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by StarryNightSky, Sep 30, 2010.

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  1. StarryNightSky

    StarryNightSky Well-Known Member

    Sorry if this is the wrong place to post this, wasn't sure where it should go.

    This is really embarrassing...

    Over the last few years I've let my social anxiety get way out of control. I can't gas up my car if there's anyone else gassing up theirs. I can hardly drive through town late at night any more (never during the day). Can't even meet the ups guy at the door.

    I need to fix this. Does anyone have any advice, like things I can do to help deal with the stress?
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Get this sorted pronto, preferably by a trained person.
    My son started out like this and has now not left the house in 7 years.
    Meanwhile try camomile tea (tastes like shit I'm afraid) as it helps calm the nerves, or take "Kalms" a herbal remedy that helps with stress.
  3. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    Try to find out what you're telling yourself that may cause you to become scared. What exactly are you afraid of? What's the worst case scenario? Is this scenario something which can occur due to people? Or due to your own perception/thinking? Or because of a combination of both people and your own perception/thinking?

    I'd be asking myself questions like that. That's how I'd approach my social anxieties...

    But if you try that and it gets you can also just take a deep breath and do the opposite of what your feelings tell you. E.g. that you shouldn't go to the ups guy etc. and by doing so, chances are that once you're actually at the door, once you're actually at the party, once you're actually in the store of's not as frightening as you imagined it. And that experience will stay with you. The knowledge that it isn't always as bad as you imagine it and that will help you in the future when you start getting scared again. You'll be able do deal with you fears better and better as time goes by after that.
  4. Decode

    Decode Well-Known Member

    I've been struggling with social anxiety for years, i find it just continues get worse and as i do less from it the harder it is to be normal.
    I tried everything i could think of but it didn't seem to help, i finally plucked up the courage to see my doctor and got some meds. It is not fixed but it is better than it was, i would recommend you try that. I really doubt home stuff like breathing techniques and that will sort it.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 30, 2010
  5. dreams4life

    dreams4life Well-Known Member

    Hey, I know how you feel. You have to overcome those feelings that limits your ability. I personally have come across such feelings. It kept dragging me down. You can overcome. Meditation has helped me.
  6. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    General anxiety reducers are greatly helpful. Chamomile tea or something prescription or maybe something illegal (if that's your thing) can help greatly, as can meditation, and this may allow you to do some things you previously weren't able to do and then you might gain some confidence from doing that and be able to do more. Anxiety in general tends to build upon itself, but it works the other way too.
  7. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    I have no idea because I used to feel so much like you. It just got better as yrs went on and I was getting better in every way. I think having a therapist also helped as I was dissociating badly from the fear too.

    TBH when I think back I was about to become paranoid, I was so scared of everything. Do you have a therapist? That outside support can help ground you, focus on what is making you scared and understanding why you feel the way you do.
  8. foreverforgotten

    foreverforgotten Well-Known Member

    Mine is exactly like yours too.
    I can't gas up unless people aren't around either.
    I'm paranoid as hell and swear everyone
    Stares at me when grocery shopping.
    My mom has a nurse that comes everyday at random times.
    Evertime I hear the doorbell I hightail it upstairs to my room.
    I force myself not to be dismissive in conversations.
    I'm always the one saying..oh well see ya later then..
    And ending the convo. Even on the internet its bad.

    What I'm going to do tomorrow is...
    Go sit down at a bookstore.. And pretend like I'm reading a magazine.
    And just get used to people being around me. And the hustle and bustle.
    I think I might go somewhere where lots of people are
    Everyday... And try and get back to being used to interactions.
    Its scary..but I don't want to end up a recluse.
    Maybe walk around walmart a bit...
    Or go sit in your car in a parking lot full of people.

    We'll be okay!
    I hope :/
  9. foreverforgotten

    foreverforgotten Well-Known Member

    and the more you talk to people..
    The easier it will be the next time.
  10. StarryNightSky

    StarryNightSky Well-Known Member

    I don't have a therapist. Both going into town and waiting in a small room full of people are too much for me right now.

    Thanks everyone, I'll try some of these ideas out. Hopefully they'll help.
  11. Kate777

    Kate777 Well-Known Member

    Hey Bluebird,

    Hope you're ok. I'm dealing with social anxiety as a result of a phobia so I know how difficult it can be to try and overcome it, particularly on your own. As another poster suggested, it would be really useful to try and discover exactly what it is you're afraid of in the situations that make you uncomfortable. Acknowledging exactly what provokes an anxiety is the first step in combating it. There are lots of therapies (and therapists) you can try which can help - some people prefers CBT, meds, counselling etc. Personally, I find hypnotherapy helpful but ultimately it depends on what suits you best.

    PM me if you want to chat
  12. dreams4life

    dreams4life Well-Known Member

    My heart is in anguish within me;
    the terrors of death assail me.

    Fear and trembling have beset me;
    horror has overwhelmed me.

    I said, "Oh, that I had the wings of a dove!
    I would fly away and be at rest-
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