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Need advice

Harrow

Well-Known Member
#1
I need advice about what to do

I have what I would call a friend. But I have always being a little at unease with him. Let me start from the beginning I helped him with his English and he never stopped speaking to me.
But I've always being a little weary for reasons I could not put my finger on.
Well lately he has being going on about his pent up sexual frustrations (sorry I do not know how else too put it)
And keeps begging me to introduce him to woman and help him find a girlfriend. I kind of laugh it off because I will not introduce him to any of the woman I know because of the uneasy feelings I have.
But I try listen and be supportive and tell him in time he will meet someone nice.
Well today he got very aggressive and said he was thinking about killing himself because of his urges and if I won't introduce him to a woman I must get lost and he will just go kill himself.
I will not do it, but I feel such a pit in my stomach about him if he does decide to die.
I had to block him because I can't do what he wants, but did I do the right thing?
Am I killing someone.
I feel very broken because of this.
 

KM76710

Kangaroo Manager
SF Pro
SF Supporter
#2
I believe you did do the right thing. He is putting you into a bad situation that you are uncomfortable with. No wrong from your side in the least.
 
#3
I think there's certainly the danger that if he met a woman, he would try the same threats. I'd also be worried that he would try other forms of manipulation or force. He doesn't have any right to use a threat of suicide to push you into finding sex partners for him.

Do you want to say what country you're in Harrow? It sounds like if all he wants is sex, he'd be better off going to a prostitute than looking for a relationship. Laws on sex work vary by country.
 

Harrow

Well-Known Member
#4
He is not in the same country as me. I did recommend prostitution to him. Was not very proud of it but I didn't know what else to do.
Exactly that's why I refuse to introduce him to anyone I know, because even before he got aggressive I just had that feeling that how he talks to woman and about woman is just off.
At first I just thought it was harmless and he doesn't know how. But still something held me back.
I really hate this situation.
I unblocked him, because maybe I can help somehow avoid a problem.
But so far I have gone against saying anything, until I work out what
 
#5
What would introducing him to a woman you know do him any good if he's not in the same country? You'd think if he wanted sex so much he'd be looking in the same place where he lives.
 

A_J_R

Well-Known Member
#6
You did the right thing. I sometimes don't trust my gut instincts, but those feelings almost always inevitably end up being correct. I say you trusted your gut and you are probably right to just let him go.
 

Sunspots

To Wish Impossible Things
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#7
It doesn't sound like he'd be very good boyfriend material. You've done the right thing. I'd hope any male friends of mine would do the same thing.

As for him threatening to kill himself if you won't? That's manipulative to the extreme. The chances of him actually even trying are tiny. And even if he did, that would be his decision and nothing to do with you.
 

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