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Need advice?

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Hi, I will describe my situation and then maybe I can get advice/input from others.
I have bipolar, I do take meds which do help a lot but not 100%, I have high functioning autism, and I have agoraphobia. I have an adult son with low functioning autism who is dependent on me.
My husband is disabled too.
All of that would be ok, but, social services are constantly threatening to take my youngest son. They have taken him in the past and then gave him back.
This time they say he would be taken permanently.

They dont think someone with my problems and my husbands problems can look after him properly, but he is fine, they want perfection, perfect school uniform every day, never late for school, nit picking day after day, we are pestered daily.

July is when they have the final meeting to decide if hes taken for good.
If he is there is no way I can carry on.
It would be cruel to myself, I wouldnt want to see anyone go through that, I need to plan what to do and how.

My eldest son has already said that he cannot live without me and would do the same. Thats his choice, I cant stop him once I am gone.

When I was a teenager I lost all of my family except my mum in a terrible incident, then a few years later my mum died, I dont have any friends because of the agoraphobia etc, no support, my little boy is my whole world.

And he doesnt want to be removed, he said if they take him again he will hold onto me so they cant take him, but they get the police there, and they actually took him away in a police car, can you believe it, they are animals.

I have attempted suicide before a few times but it was totally unplanned, this time I need to be realistic and prepare because I do not just want to end up getting sectioned and locked in a hospital, I would never get over losing my son. I can hardly even bear to think about it.

So I am sure you can see I have little choice, my son is young enough to forget me all together in his new home.

Life day to day is absolutely miserable anyway, like being in a prison.

I just have to be careful not to mention suicide before july, if they think I am suicidal they will take him for sure, because then it 'proves' I am incapable.

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
Re: Planning it well, advice?

What you need to be spending your energy on is getting legal help for you to keep your child If you provide a roof over his head and food and you care for him then they have to right to take him. Spend time making a plan to keep your son don't waiste it on making a plan to leave It doesn't matter you will always be his mother and at 18 he will be yours again so what then if you leave he will be left without you when he comes looking
I t hink you need to get some help for you to cope thru all this okay a therapist to give you the skills to show these people you are quite capable hugs


Senior Member & Antiquities Friend
I can relate to you right now. I'm bipolar and yeah the meds arent 100%.. family services have my youngest right now, they took him after an attempt. that was in december and it hasnt been the first time. are they offering you any type of help with say a respite worker? or any kind of counselling.. if they arent ask them why not. ask them how can they judge how you care for your child without any help from them. and if they are then tell them they nedd to step it up. get under them like a bed bug throw this back in their hands. they need to be offering you rpoper support before they can judge if you are a good parent or not. and from what you've psoted i'd say you are a very caring and loving mom. you just need a little help to get out from under the pile you are buried under. here if you want to talk.
They put him on the 'at risk' register. There are no problems except the house being messy because some days I find it too hard. Now I have got a cleaner but they still arent happy.
Its just excuses all the time.
They basically dont like the idea of someone autistic and 'mental' having a kid.
They told me to abort him before he was born, they are such total hypocrites.
He wouldnt even be alive if I listened to them.

When he was born they tried to take him too. But I didnt have post natal depression at first and everything was fine.

They dont care about kids, they only care about what is NORMAL.
Hes a really happy kid, thats what kills me, if he wasnt happy I would be the first to say give him a better home, when they took him last time he was distraught, having nightmares, scared of the stranger they dumped him with, they just couldnt have cared less.

A psychologist says hes happy at home and well cared for, but it amounts to nothing. They even check my bins all the time to nag me if I dont recycle!!! I am telling the truth, thats how petty it is.
I swear when I go to heaven/hell whatever I will leave a long list of who is to blame and curse anyone who goes on about recycling to people who barely have the will to live. Its just torture day after day.

Who deserves to be treated like this?

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
NOONE you fight okay get legal help and fight get psychologist to write a letter of how happy your child is and that it is better for the child to be at home i would move so far away from that place you are in i know that is not visible but god they have no right to make your life a living hell or your sons
I really wish I could move but have 0 money.
I couldnt sleep all night I was so worried, so I stayed up all night cleaning everything everywhere, but I am useless at it, in the morning light it didnt look much better, they even got the police to come at random and check the house too. That shouldnt be allowed.

What kind of job is it for police to go to a house and say let me see your kitchen. Wheres the crime? Its crazy. Social services just want us watched every day. I am not paranoid, they have landlords checking all the time too.

So exhausted.
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