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Need Advice

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Well-Known Member
I need to break it off with my bf we have been together for almost 14yrs but the last couple of yrs have been bad as he won't come anywhere near me. Everything else in my life is going well but this is really bringing me down. I just don't know how or what to say to him i have given him soo many chances but now i know i don't feel anything for him as he is always drunk and i can't cope with it anymore. any advice would be welcome.


Antiquities Friend
I have been observing the whole debacle from the beginning. Dawn, you know what you need to do... now move on with your life.


Well-Known Member
Hi. Sounds like a very difficult situation, especially given that you have been together so long.

I think your decision on how to do it should depend on your bf's personality. If he is clingy for example you're going to want a place with a quick get away after the deed is done, or perhaps a friend in the next room you can then go straight to after and they can help lead you away. As for the words tell him exactly how you feel, but don't leave any openings, don't leave him something to cling to, it needs to be sensitive but strong. Say things like we "have" grown apart rather than saying that you "think" you are growing apart. I'd plan a few quick sharp sentences, it doesn't have to be a long speech or discussion with him, if it becomes that then it will be harder for him to let go.


Active Member
I've been in a very similar situation myself. And I am soo much happier without my ex. Mine was very clingy and so Hache's advice sounds very good in regards to breaking up and sounding very clear and focussed on the end result.

I ended up "breaking up" several times before he truly accepted it was over and left me alone. In the end, because he was so clingy, the only way was to break up for like the 6th time over the phone.

If he is making you unhappy it will only drag you down further and further, which is time you could spend being happy. And you deserve to be happy :)

Take care of yourself X


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I would tell him exactly how it is Dawn. Obviously in an amicable manner. Make sure either you or he has a place to stay after the break up. Also tell him this is it and that you will not be going back to him just ao he is clear on that. Oh Dawn big hug I hope it goes ok and remember you always have us should you need further support.
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