Need Advise

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by safkhdk, Sep 29, 2016.

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  1. safkhdk

    safkhdk New Member

    I'm 16 years old and I have always been a relatively happy individual. I've been experimenting with different drugs for a while now, but with no ill intent. I should mention that I don't get along with either of my parents and have virtually no relationship with my father (I live with both). The other night I took my experimenting a little too far and <Mod Edit:Methods> I'm okay but I have no idea what my home situation will look like from now on. I've entertained the idea of running away for probably a year and a half now but never actually committed due to a lack of funds and transportation. I'm not sure how long I can stand living with my parents depending on how they react. I'm not really worried about my mother; however I am utterly terrified of my father. His mother passed away a few years ago in extremely traumatic fashion and he hasn't been the same since. I am 100% convinced that he is mentally unstable and I have nobody to turn too. When I return home today and could be met with anything from complete lack of freedom to physical violence. I've always seen suicide as the cowards way out but now it seems like a relatively pleasant alternative to living homeless or with mentally/physically abusive parents. I should point out that my father has only ever hit me once but constantly uses the threat of violence to keep me in line. He has a history of acting violent and irrational in the heat of the moment. I'm not going to delve deep into our personal conflicts, but know that this could very possibly be the straw that breaks the camels back. I'm not looking to suicide as my primary solution to this but it has become a very vivid possibility as I don't fear death, I am merely saddened by the idea of never again walking this beautiful earth and would feel immense guilt for my friends and family. Any advise is welcome, thank you.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 29, 2016
  2. HereToHelp

    HereToHelp Member

    First stop experimenting drugs!!!! Any kind!!!!
    Second try to be friendly but detached with your father....let me explain: try to treat him like an old men you meet on a bus; you let him take your sit, you smile but certainly you are not going to give him more than that!
    In this way even if you don' t like him certainly you will not give him a reason to be violent and despotic with you.
    You must behave really in a controlled way, like a, detached, friendly but always in control...that's why you must drop the drugs immediately the cloud your focus!
    Also try to keep your yourself busy with something cool...have you ever tried to learn programming??? Certainly better be in your room in front of a pc instead that under a bridge :)
    If you do as soon as you are 18 you can earn money and be absolutely free from your parents....not a bad idea in my opinion;)
    But most important of all : DON'T THINK ABOUT COMMITTING SUICIDE!!!!
    It is not a solution; is just a silly idea that crosses your mind when you are in a difficult situation, try to fight it.

    These are just simple things you can do but if the violence escalate consider going to the police.
  3. BarryW

    BarryW Well-Known Member

    HereToHelp has many good suggestions. It is unfortunate but sometimes we have to accept that we are probably not going to ever get along with a person, even if that person is our parent. Rather than focus on what your father may or may not do, I think it could help to have you focus on what your plans for the future are. Do you know what career you want to take? Or even just some hobby you think you will enjoy your whole life? Make efforts towards those goals and remember that your family will not always be talking to you on a daily basis (once you move out). I don't mean to suggest to show disrespect to your family. But if you are focused on what you want to do with your life, other problems can seem to become less important and your family may even find a bigger respect for you over time as they see you working towards a goal. If you aren't sure what you want to do yet, maybe just find a part-time job to save up money for when you are on your own.

    Life can change so much when you get out of the house you grew up in -- give it a chance.
  4. Depressed Since 1974

    Depressed Since 1974 Active Member

    There is no excuse for violence or a threat of violence. Fear is a debilitating emotion that comes from said threats. For your own emotional well-being I urge you to seek counseling to deal with your pain and learn how deal with your parents.
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