I'm 16 years old and I have always been a relatively happy individual. I've been experimenting with different drugs for a while now, but with no ill intent. I should mention that I don't get along with either of my parents and have virtually no relationship with my father (I live with both). The other night I took my experimenting a little too far and <Mod Edit:Methods> I'm okay but I have no idea what my home situation will look like from now on. I've entertained the idea of running away for probably a year and a half now but never actually committed due to a lack of funds and transportation. I'm not sure how long I can stand living with my parents depending on how they react. I'm not really worried about my mother; however I am utterly terrified of my father. His mother passed away a few years ago in extremely traumatic fashion and he hasn't been the same since. I am 100% convinced that he is mentally unstable and I have nobody to turn too. When I return home today and could be met with anything from complete lack of freedom to physical violence. I've always seen suicide as the cowards way out but now it seems like a relatively pleasant alternative to living homeless or with mentally/physically abusive parents. I should point out that my father has only ever hit me once but constantly uses the threat of violence to keep me in line. He has a history of acting violent and irrational in the heat of the moment. I'm not going to delve deep into our personal conflicts, but know that this could very possibly be the straw that breaks the camels back. I'm not looking to suicide as my primary solution to this but it has become a very vivid possibility as I don't fear death, I am merely saddened by the idea of never again walking this beautiful earth and would feel immense guilt for my friends and family. Any advise is welcome, thank you.