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Need an Advice idk to whom to turn

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Givinup, Dec 15, 2014.

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  1. Givinup

    Givinup Member

    I posted a day ago, but my post was either too long or not interesting.. I just want some advice to whom I could talk or where can I get help, because I come to realize that I need it.. I don't trust people around me because usually I just get used by them and thrown out... The only person I trusted is my girl, but we broke for complicated reasons because we still have feelings for each other.. We've been a good support to each other throughout past months but I just found out that she slept with her best friend and I can't trust her anymore or talk to her.. So now I have nobody at all.. I am a foreigner living in USA.. All the stress I experience and depression, all I can think of is ending my life.. Taking an easy way out, instead of suffering and feeling this constant pain every day.. I'm scared that I can go for it, because I don't really feel anything anymore and nothing frightens me besides hurting my family... It's like how can I do it without anyone realizing that I'm dead..
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Givinup, I had actually read your other post, it wasn't that it was too long, I just didn't know what to say.

    My advice to you is get professional advice because while you may have depression it needs to be diagnosed before you can actually get treatment and help and the adequate support necessary. You must do this in order to get well. We will be here for you too.

    Kind regards,

    Petal xx
  3. Givinup

    Givinup Member

    Where do I turn for help? Doctors? Psychiatrists? I don't have money for it. I am a student-athlete in USA. I get scholarship a dorm room to live and some food. I have no money on my own. Or no people around me who would support me with that. On top of that I don't want any of my teammates or coaches to know about this, but I want to get help from somewhere, I can't deal with this pain and sadness every day, especially when I have to fake smile around my team and coaches, and pretend to be happy so they would not give me crap..
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Ok, lets looks at the facts, 1 in 4 people will suffer from depression at least on 1 episode in their life. So just maybe even some of your teammates are, the problem is you cannot see the illness. The stigma around mental illness needs to go and I cannot wait until the day it does.

    Is it at all possible that you could borrow some money and say its for something else? I know its not nice to lie but there aren't too many options right now. I was wondering too is there a psychologist or doctor at the university. I know my sister goes to the doctor at her university at a very reduced rate but I know things are a lot different in the USA. It's really bugging me lately how the heathcare system works over there, just judging from this forum a lot of people cannot get help with their illnesses due to not being able to afford it. My country it's much different.

    I do wish the best for you whatever happens.
  5. Givinup

    Givinup Member

    Thank you for your advices. I did not realize that you are not originally from USA.. I thought it's a forum from USA. And yes the healthcare is weird here, I don't really know how it works either. The problem is that I had some issues last year, I was trying to hurt myself and my teammates saw all the blood and told my soccer coach. He had a talk with me and made me meet with this psychiatrist.. However, he was more like sport psychiatrist, and he helped me a little with my problems on a soccer field, but not much with other problems.. I did not really like him and he wasn't good on advices either. It's just he was a listener and I didn't even felt comfortable.. I did not want to mention my suicidal thoughts and etc because I was afraid my coach will find out and cut me from the team and I just did not want that shame in general for people knowing about it.. This year I switched schools, and I don't want these coaches or these teammates to know anything about it.. I'm not sure what to do and where to get the help, cause I'm also not familiar with USA healthcare system and etc... I did not realize you are not in US. I just finally came to self admitig that I really need help, because I'm tired of all this negativity, bad things which happens to me every day, and this pain, and etc etc.. I feel like if one more really bad thing would happen to me, I could end my life...
  6. howardTX

    howardTX Active Member

    I know what you mean. You can go to the doctor and say, "hey, I have a sore knee." If you do that then it is a simple treatment and people don't blink an eye. I was lucky enough that I have a physical each 6months so I brought it up to my physician and he was totally supportive and able to send me to a great counselor. I am not sure if I could have gone to a doctor with, "Hey, I feel depressed and want to eat a bullet." It is pretty hard to tell that to a receptionist but you should be able to do so since this is a disease/disorder like any other. Typically there is a number in most large towns (especially college towns) that you can call anonymously and get information. There might even be one connected to the school and they can give you information that will enable you to get free help. All of this should be protected by HIPPA so even though there is a fear of your team mates or coaches finding out, they should not be able to do so without your consent. I know what you are going through... it is SO hard to trust people. I have a VERY short list and those people live a long way from me. Get help because we are all worth it even thought we don't feel that way.
  7. Givinup

    Givinup Member

    Thank you for your advice, and I will see what I can do after holiday. It's a small campus and a new area for me as well so I don't really know stuff around here well. I don't want to talk to my trainers either because they could tell the coach and etc then I would have to deal even with more stress.. Thanks for your advises anyway, and I'll do some more research..
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Yup I have never been to the USA,I live the Republic of Ireland. I read all your post, I'm hoping you can get some good advice from your fellow citizens. Oh and just to clarify this forum is worldwide...we have lots of lovely friendly members that can help you through this. Good luck with everything and keep us updated :)
  9. AlCal

    AlCal Member

    Hi, I am from the U.S. Most college campuses have a health center on campus. You could go to the one on your campus and they can help you either there or help you find somewhere to go for help. As mentioned by howardTX HIPPA is a privacy law in the US that prevents anyone from sharing any of your personal health information with anyone. The exceptions to this law are that your info can be shared if you are a danger to yourself or anyone else; however, under these exceptions your info would only be shared with other professionals who would need it to get you the help you need. It would be against the law for anything you say to anyone involved in your healthcare to say anything to your coach or teammates.

    I'm not exactly sure how it works with foreign exchange students, but most college campuses have a health insurance plan available to their students at a reasonable price. When you get back to campus after the winter break I would suggest going to your campus's student health center. The people there also have to follow HIPPA so they could not tell anyone on your team or your coach that you even asked for help. Your campus may aphave providers available to help you or someone at the center can help you find affordable care, either with an insurance plan through the campus or free or reduced rate clinics in your area where you can get affordable care. The American healthcare system isn't great, but you should be able to find affordable care while you are in the US.
  10. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Seeing is Believing Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Colleges provide free counseling to students, insurance is not needed.
  11. Givinup

    Givinup Member

    Thank you people for your advices.. I will see if I can find a health center on campus and I will try and get help. Again, I appreciate the time you spent to read my post and answering to it.
  12. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    :hug: best of luck to you x
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