im not really sure if this is too do with suicdal but I need help anyways basically is it normal to do the following: I have no confidents at all im always been told my parnets/teachers that I need more self-confidents belive in my self(Im not sure why i feel this way) but if there is a question at school example: 1+1 now obviously I know thats 2 and ill know the answer saying im not sure(obviously it be harder question) I also never ask for help even if i need it only asked for help once in my life(2 weeks ago wanna know what happend? teacher started taking the piss and talking to me as if i was a retard,) I wouldnt say i enjoy it but i hate making people proud and would prefer to make people dissapointed in me? wtf i know that sounds wrong buts its true i used t play football from ages 8 to 15 but i hate it now I would never play football again so I won 18 trophies in that time(Including a trial for a professional club) and my parnets are proud of me for that so one day when they piss me off(Ill be lucky to go 1 day without them pissing me off) I just broke all the trophies. Now i hate my dad but some days I love him...? - I hate him becasue what he done to me when i was younger and becasue the way he treats my mum(my mum scared of him) but then sometimes ill love him and that like a farther then he will piss me off and make me hate him, but most of the time I hate him and my mum goes well he your dad he does everything for you, now that is true but come on justy cause he gets me stuff that makes up for the times he punched me, embarrised me, destoryed my stuff?