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need everything to end.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by SunFlower, Jun 12, 2009.

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  1. SunFlower

    SunFlower Member

    Sorry for posting. I just feel so alone and tired of everything at the moment.

    Tried to overdose yesterday which didnt work and i just feel so stuck now. All i want to do is try again, feeling tempted to do something, but part of me feels guilty. I tried to stay strong for people but i really dont have anyone anymore, its all so pointless, i dont think i want to be here anymore, im just totally useless.

    I really dunno anymore, im sorry, i just wish everything would stop.
  2. reefer madness

    reefer madness Account Closed

    Welcome to the forum. I'm glad you didn't succeed yesterday as I wouldn't have had the chance to meet you.
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Sunflower,

    Welcome to the forums.

    I'm glad you posted,never be sorry for posting :hug: that's what SF is for :)

    I'm also glad that your attempt didn't go to plan.

    I'm sorry you're feeling this way,I'm sure you aren't useless or anything of the sort ,what's making you feel you are? What is making life so difficult for you?

    Keep talking if it helps , we're listening xxx
  4. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    You have us now, and you're not alone.
    Everyone here knows what it's like to want to die.
  5. SunFlower

    SunFlower Member

    Thanks for both of your replies, although i really dont deserve them.

    I really wish it had worked yesterday, it hurts too much to carry on, i wake up everyday wishing that i never existed, none of my thoughts will go away which makes it all the more difficult.

    Plus i know that everyone would alot happier without me here, im too much of a burden to others, i upset and hurt everyone, i just feel guilty for being here, i deserve and should be hurt.

    I know nothings going to change until im gone, i need to do something again, i just wanted them to understand.
  6. reefer madness

    reefer madness Account Closed

    Nobody will be happier with you gone.
  7. SunFlower

    SunFlower Member

    Too many people would be happier, i know they would.
    I really dont mean to, but i only make people miserable, and everyone deserves better than this.

    I cant get rid of my thoughts to end things, there just building up again, its like once there in my head i have to do it, i have no reason to be here now.
  8. reefer madness

    reefer madness Account Closed

    Have you spoken to a dr about your suicidal thoughts? Just because you're thinking about it doesn't mean you have to do it. Please don't.
  9. SunFlower

    SunFlower Member

    I went to the doctors, but i never mentioned suicide, as im scared of admitting how i feel and im scared of peoples reactions. I couldnt do any of it, im rubbish at talking and being honest.
  10. reefer madness

    reefer madness Account Closed

    Took me a long time to admit to anybody I was depressed let alone suicidal. I've had to say it to so many docs now and none of them reacted strangely or were the least bit judgemental. I'm not much for talking either, but posting here helps me get things out that I normally hold in.
  11. SunFlower

    SunFlower Member

    I just worry about reactions, and saying things because once things are said you cant take them back or anything.
    Its good that you can post here and not keep things bottled up, im probably not much good at it though.
    Out of interest, did it help to admit to how you're feeling or not?
  12. reefer madness

    reefer madness Account Closed

    I think admitting it to my docs has helped a lot otherwise they couldn't properly treat me. I also think it's helped my relationships with my family as it gives them some perspective on how bad I've been hurting.

    I'm not much good at posting either. I usually don't know what to say to people so most of what I do post is useless BS.
  13. SunFlower

    SunFlower Member

    Well, what you've posted to me has been a help, thanks for you're replies, its ment alot tonight.
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