need friend advice...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by wonderer, Dec 21, 2007.

  1. wonderer

    wonderer Well-Known Member

    To make a long story really short, I've been having some pretty serious issues with my best friend. I lived with her family all summer, and she blew me off all summer. I hardly saw her. We went back to school and I hardly heard from her (prior to the summer, we'd talked 2-3 hours a day basically every day). I kept telling her I wanted more that 1-2 emails a week, she claimed she kept trying but I never saw anything, and then at one point she told me she felt like I was emotionally abusive. But I don't understand exactly how, she won't try to explain it anymore and the last few times we spoke she just got mad at me for not understanding. I'm trying as hard as I possibly know how. I've been rereading my emails 2-3 times before I send them to her to make sure there's nothing that could possibly be construed that way. I'd rather be dead than be that person, but I can't change it. I'm in counselling, but my counsellor doesn't believe that its me, she won't even examine that issue, won't even consider it.
    Basically since thanksgiving, my friend won't speak to me. I emailed her and asked if she would consider coming to a counselling appointment with me, but that it was up to her and I wouldn't push it if she didn't want to, and got no response.
    I'm kinda at a loss. I love her so much, and things really really suck between us right now, but I want to be with her and talk to her and I want to fix myself and our relationship. I want to get in contact with her, to try again, but don't know if she will construe that in and of itself as abuse.
    I'm debating sending her an email something along the lines of "Hey. Hope things are going well for you and all, and hope you're enjoying your break. If you feel like it sometime, I'd very much like to talk to you. Actually, I'd very much like to see you, but I'll understand if you don't want to do either and its completely up to you either way. Hope you enjoy your holidays!"
    What do you guys think? Good idea/not good idea? Abusive or ok?
    Thanks for your time guys.
    Rae
     
  2. baofu

    baofu Active Member

    Perhaps, you've become obsessed, or maybe you're just too much over her, give her some room for herself. How'd you feel if someone wanted to be with you ALL the time?
     
  3. wonderer

    wonderer Well-Known Member

    We've always lived at least 5 hours apart - basically we only see each other twice a year.
    We did used to talk a lot, but it was always mutual. And then suddenly she just wanted nothing to do with me...