Need help for another...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by wonderer, Dec 9, 2008.

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  1. wonderer

    wonderer Well-Known Member

    Some of you may remember me, I used to be on this board a lot about a year ago. And more recently I've been in chat because its been a rough week. Sorry this is long, but please read it if you're up to it - I'm really at a loss and need help figuring out how to handle this.

    My roommate confided in me last night that she doesn't want to exist anymore, and sees no point in life. She was saying she wanted to go swimming in the lake (its REALLY cold here) or swallow a ton of shit. We talked for several hours, and she seems to be completely hopeless that anything is going to make a difference in her life. She refuses to consider therapy because she says she doesn't know the people and therefore can't ask them for help. Nor does she want their help because she feels like they're getting paid and therefore its not worth her time.She's had issues with depression for several years, but she's never been this unhappy before that I've seen. Another thing that stands out about this depression in relation to others is that she's been acting differently. She spent a lot of time this week with a friend she usually avoids, went out and had a good time today, and then tonight just decided she didn't want to deal with the world anymore. While I am fairly sure she's not acutely suicidal, my concern is that she may get there in the next few days. I don't think its right for me to be like following her around, but I kind of want to keep an eye on her and make sure she's ok as much as I can. But I also realize that this may not be something that I can help with on my own. As I've said, she refuses professional help. She also refuses to let any of our mutual friends know that anything is wrong. I think they could be a good resource, but I'm not sure if I should betray her trust by saying anything beyond that she's having a rough few days. I think the support would be helpful for her because one of the things she said to me tonight was that I'm the only one who cares and that the only reason she's not immediately trying to kill herself is because she doesn't want to do that to me, but that she can't just keep living so that I'll be ok.I really do not know how much I ought to be talking to anyone else about this, nor do I really know how to handle the situation. I've had suicidal friends in the past, but this is different because she doesn't seem to be able to acknowledge any alternatives. I really do not know how to handle this.

    She wouldn't spend the night in the room with me last night, so she slept on the couch. She's not awake yet, and I have to go out for a few hours, so I'm hoping she's ok this morning. I think I may take the time to call a hotline and talk to someone and see if they have any suggestions... I know that I'm not going to be ok if she decides to kill herself, but I also in a way feel bad for doing anything that'll prolong her being here and suffering (probably one of the downsides of having 2 suicidal people living together). But, that feeling isn't strong enough for me to be willing to let her go. I'm very very confused as to what to do and any thoughts will be much appreciated.

    Rae
     
  2. ToHelp

    ToHelp Well-Known Member

    The hotline sounds like a good idea Rae. She's exhibiting some bizarre, out-of-character behavior, then goes back to suicide. This tells me a psychiatric work-up is the appropriate next step but if she refuses to go..... ya got me there.

    Best wishes,
    ToHelp
     
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I think you should assist her in seeking professional help, telling her that you take her expression of pain seriously, and that there are many options for care...none of us can be responsible for another, especially if the persons requires intervention beyond our skill level...maybe prior to the discussion, you can have some suggestions re what services are available in your area...best of luck, J
     
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