Need help for my friend

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by i need relief, May 12, 2007.

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  1. Hello, all

    I have a friend that struggles with both self harm and an eating disorder. She tells me that the cutting keeps her from falling into her eating disorder.

    I really care about her and it hurts me so much when she tells me she cut herself again. I really want to help. She gets very defensive and angry if I ask her to stop, and now she said she just won't tell me about it anymore so I won't bother her about it.

    I am at a loss here. I just don't know what to do.

    Can anyone give me some advice here? If you had a friend that really wanted to help, what would you want them to do? I was going to tell her that I just won't talk to her anymore if she doesn't stop, but that doesn't seem like something I would want to hear if I was in her situation.
    Last edited: May 12, 2007
  2. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    Don't guilt her into stopping, that's probably the worst thing you could do.

    Hon, I'm sure she knows you care. Sometimes cutting is the only way to get feelings out. She says she does it so she doesn't fall into her eating disorder, then, she can't give them both up at once, try and help her cope with one at a time.
  3. kindtosnails

    kindtosnails Staff Alumni

    That's a tough one. The ED makes the situation harder, because it's like one gets better, the other gets worse so it's kind of choosing the lesser of two evils. i agree, try not to guilt trip her, try to realise it's very, very difficult to stop and she's not doing it to hurt you. i don't know if she already has professional help, but if not, you could suggest she talks to her doctor or a trusted adult, parent, teacher, school counsellor...i don't know how old you are...other than that, you can't make her stop or get better, don't feel you're a bad friend and try not to be angry at her. Just be there for her, let her know she can talk to you without judging or pressure.
  4. eih

    eih Well-Known Member

    Just try and be understanding about it... I don't know. It used to bug me when my friends got mad at me for cutting.. so I don't know.. just try and be there for her
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