Need help for my friend

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Salamanca, Jan 20, 2008.

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  1. Salamanca

    Salamanca New Member

    No, this isn't a classic "for my friend" thing when it's actually for me, this is actually about a friend.

    Okay well we haven't met in real life, but we've talked over the net for I'd say 2 and a half years now, and most days for the past few months..

    However recently my friend has been talking about drugs - stealing drugs particularly (she works in a pharmacy) I ask her why she would want to do drugs and she says "so I can feel something" This isn't a classic sympathy dive - she is never like this and I truthfully believe that she is 100% serious..

    As we got talking about the drugs and stuff, she mentioned suicide. Now at first I was like hmmm.. but then she started mentioning how she was feeling, and she started to sound more and more depressed. I knew that she had been a bit down recently, but I had no idea it was this bad. She isn't really very open with her emotions, so I guess she must have REALLY needed to tell somebody. She also mentioned that she feels alone, and often takes sleeping pills so that she doesn't have to be awake.

    She got talking more about suicide, she said she wouldn't do it but I'm not sure - the way she sounded makes it seem like she isn't sure herself.

    Of course I told her doing drugs and stuff, even if it made you feel better short term, would do nothing but further harm to her, and that stealing them as well, could lead to jail and whatnot. I have a familiarity with suicide (family member) and so I told her that if she could see how it made family feel then she would regret it instantly.. She seemed to agree but egh I need to say something that will really drive the message home, or atleast connect with how she's feeling inside.

    That's in essence, the problem. Im only 16, (she is 20) - I try to advise the best I can but I havent experienced life long enough for me to be able to really give sound, productive suggestions when it comes to this kind of thing..

    There's noone I can really contact about it, I don't think she would do it, at least not soon anyway, so while there is still time I need to try and help her.

    Please, suggestions are welcome
     
  2. D3ath

    D3ath Well-Known Member

    Just read your post though and must say you seem like a great friend :). Im sure for some one in her position feeling how she does it could be a life line. Just try to be their for her when she needs some one and listen to her and try not to be judgemental. Which im sure your not anyway.

    As you know through experiencing a family member commiting suicide it can put strain on a familys relationships, it can also make family members more prone to suicide. If you feel comfortable try sharing your relationship and how your loss of your family member made you feel and how you feel towards them now. It may give her some understanding.

    The best advice i can give is read this:
    http://depression.about.com/cs/suicideprevent/a/suicidal.htm
    It's better then anything i can say.. :p

    Try not to worry though as thoughts are very different from actions, and its takes alot more than you can imagine to make those thoughts into reality.
     
  3. nightangel

    nightangel Member

    It's always difficult hearing someone you care about is having suicidal feelings. Unfortunately in your case, it gets even more difficult cos you can't physically be there for her.

    I'd just reccommend letting her vent to you as much as possible, just being there for her online. As I'm sure most people on here can relate to the idea of letting out your problems in writing...
     
  4. Yana

    Yana Active Member

    Hi! I agree with the other responses that you sound like a great friend and you obviously care. That alone is massive support for someone, and if she is talking to you then that is a good sign. The one thing I want to say is that as harsh as it may sound she is ultimately responsible for herself and only she has the power to decide what action she wants to take. If she was to choose suicide (which hopefully will not be the case) it will not be your fault and there is ultimately nothing you or anyone else can do stop her. You just have to hope that she has the personal strength to get through her difficulties and can accept any help and support offered from you and others. If she is undecided then just having your support will be invaluable and a real source of hope. I dont think you should try to persuade her one way or the other, maybe just listen. One thing drugs will not do is help her 'feel something', quite the opposite, they will numb her, and adding the problems of a criminal record, loss of employment and dependency onto whatever difficulties she already has can't possibly help her. maybe you could suggest practical things such as counselling, giving her helpline info, this website etc. I also think you need to take care of yourslef too and be aware of your own feelings. Having personal experience you can offer insight but you also have a vulnerability in that it may raise negative emotions for you too. I hope that helps a little bit.. Yx
     
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    hey, i think it would be a good idea if you showed her sf! she could talk about whats bothering her and we would try and help to the best of our ability :hug:
     
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