my dads been visiting me again. i haven't seen him since my transplant 40 days ago. he kinda just left me without telling me what he was doing or where he was going. he knew how much i needed someone through it and he knew that he was the only person allowed in my room but he fucked off anyway. now for some reason he's re-appeared acting like he cares again. i dont have to let him in my room but for some reason i do. no matter what hes done hes my dad and i dont have anyone else. i dont know why im rambling. i want to die. i want to be gone and thats that.