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Need Help, Please.

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Anonymous-, Sep 2, 2010.

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  1. Anonymous-

    Anonymous- Account Closed

    For a while now I have been going through some issues that I feel I have gotten worse.

    So I will try to explain.

    For about 4 years I have had problems with porn, masturbation and sex. At the beginning it was ok but over time it has at times consumed me. I have become soo reliant on pornography, etc. But deep down I want to break away from this all. I'm going through another period where i'm not watching porn but something else has been with me through this year. That thing is, wanting to touch females hands or do something worse. Also it's kinda gone on to males as well but mainly touching hands with them. (I'm a male myself)

    I don't want to do that off course yet I feel I will. I'm compelled or have urges and thoughts which in turn scare me and thus I get worried and anxious and it just keeps going round and round. I feel I have a impulse problem/some sort of chemical imbalance in my brain.

    I am taking citalopram but stop for 2 weeks and now started again on 10mg. I feel they didn't work in the end but without them i'm having the same problems. The doctors want me to have some counselling. And upped my dosage to 40mg which I did ask for myself.

    I would appreciate any advice given.
  2. yous

    yous Well-Known Member

    I don't want to advise you to go see a psychologist(unless this is a possible option for you) because I hate it when that's the only advice people give me.

    Personally there is an underlying reason why you resort to porn and the likes you mentioned and its not so much of an addiction if you realize it is consuming your life. That is one step in the right direction.

    The sexual activities as it accumulates must stem from some reason: Stress in life, depression, something bother you or you are unhappy with that makes you turn to self-release, a safe and comfortable place for you to vent.

    Because this world is difficult to trust people, and rely on people, who do we have but ourselves to turn to to make us happy?

    I'm sorry if I have no real concrete advice, but if you truly want to stop or at least minimize these activities, I suggest you find the root of your problem and kill that.
  3. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    Hey, I've been through the same thing and it's all willpower.
    You won't be able to just take a magical pill and wake up; unobsessed suddenly.
    It's all a matter of re-forming more constructive habits and training your brain to associate things differently.

    It would be best for you to see a counselor about this, if you don't already.
    Don't be embarrassed, either. I guarantee anyone you would go to see have seen many others in the same place as you.

    This process takes time but it's very possible.

    It might be best for you to purge all of your porn as a first step; as it may be the most painful. Toss out your DVD's and magazines, wipe your computer-- cut off your internet if you need to. Not having those materials readily available to you may help alot OR not at all-- but it's good to just get rid of them as a sign to yourself that you're serious and want to change your habits.
  4. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    The pornography you watch, is it all heterosexual?

    Before I accepted that I was gay, I spent a LOT of time desperately trying to convince myself I wasn't. Could your obsession with porn be caused by some sort of insecurity like this?

    Sorry for the Freud.
  5. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    Ok, when you say reliant, how do you mean? give me an example? did you use porn/masturbation/sex as an escape from something? How much did it control your life? What happened if you couldnt get your release sexually? masturbation or otherwise.
    You say you are not watching porn right now. why is that? Does that mean you are not masturbating either? and abstaining from sexual acts in general?

    The wanting to touch hands, to me, that seems to be a want of intimacy, which people who have sexual problems often crave that intimacy with someone. and wanting it to go from hand touching to more is quite normal too. unless of course your thinking of being forceful, then your crossing a boundary.
    What urges thoughts scare you? you can PM me about this if you want to.
    In regards to your meds, All i can say is, from experience, dont just stop them, or at least try your very best not to. try keep regular with them, and do take your docs offer of therapy. even if it doesnt work, you can say you tried. btu you have to be open and honest with them when you go in.

    Again, if you wish to talk in private about this, you are more than welcome. I have experience with these troubles.

  6. Anonymous-

    Anonymous- Account Closed

    Yea it's all heterosexual.

    I feel the my problem is more about my inability to control my self. I will try counselling but I had that in the past although the counsellor field of work was in relationships.

    @yous: At first it most likely stemmed from depression. But I feel it's much more than that.

    I did use porn as an escape. At first it perhaps got in my way but then for a while it didn't really but now the thoughts, etc have a strong hold on me.
    I'm not watching anything because I want to stop watching that sort of thing and get away from it. Yes i'm still masturbating though. I've tried going without all of it but eventually I give in because I wanted to or because i've thought that this would be the last few times before I really/try to quit.
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