The fact that I am here means I don't want to die, otherwise I would just do it. I have nothing to moan about in my life, married with a good, but stressful job and a nice house over my head, but I'm finding it hard lately to fight the urge to finally end my own life. I have three failed attempts before and a battle with anorexia thrown in. I have a problem with self harm, but not cutting, I tend to take a lot of paracetamol, but lately I've started to take more and more codeine as I find it really numbs the pain. I feel myself loosing control of who I am and I'm scared of what might happen next. The doctor wants me to try CBT, but it's hard finding the time to get an appointment to see someone. I don't know how much longer I will last. I kinda feel like a bit of an attention seeker typing all this out, but it kinda helps just to get it all off my chest.