Need Help

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by emmagater12, Jan 3, 2014.

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  1. emmagater12

    emmagater12 Member

    I've had so much happen in the last year and am just struggling to cope. I've tried talking to my partner, I've explained that I feel suicidal and worthless but he doesn't know how to deal with it. I'm self harming just to release the intense build up of frustration I'm feeling. I feel like my head's going to explode and only watching the blood stream out of me calms me down. I don't want to do it, I'm embarrassed and ashamed. I have three young kids which have prevented my suicidal thoughts going any further but I'm seriously struggling. I can barely get out of bed at all. I need help
  2. Blacky

    Blacky Well-Known Member

    Do not be embarresed! :)
    Do you think you have mabye depressesion (and pls, don't get me wrong here) or did something happen?
    Mabye you could talk to someone, a friend, family or mabye a therapist about how you feel.
    We are here for you :hug:
  3. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Unfortunately, few people know how to deal with it. we do not know ourselves so in a way it is not fair for us to think others should either when it is not even them struggling with the feelings. Try to talk to a Dr or professional , and perhaps with your partner to help you both learn methods to help you more effectively .
  4. iwanttohelp

    iwanttohelp Well-Known Member

    emmagater12, you need to get professional help right away. Until you can do that I can tell you the best way I know to calm down in very quick healthy way. Grab a pen and paper and write out your frustrations, pain and hurt until you cry to let it all out. Go to your car, or the bathroom so its private. Cry until you can't cry any more and you will feel better, I promise. There is a chemical released with tears that will give you relief. Once you get all that pain out over the next few months by writing, crying and talking to a professional... then Google "healthy ways to calm down" and you will see there are dozens of coping tools you can experiment with to see what works for you. Cutting is just your only coping tool in your toolbox, but thankfully you can throw that one out and fill it with many other tools. Just don't give up, keep seeking solutions, and you can gradually learn to manage all this. It is very noble and selfless of you to be thinking of your kids during this hard time. You can do this, I wish you well.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 3, 2014
  5. emmagater12

    emmagater12 Member

    I've been to the doctor and the anti depressants seemed to make things worse. I have tried so hard to make my partner understand, I've tried talking - I'm a natural talker - but he doesn't see it as logical so he can't understand. I just feel like I'm sinking further and further and I don't know what to do. When the frustration builds, it's like I can see myself behaving badly but I can't stop it. I had a night where I just couldn't stop throwing things to try and release it and I threw glass and then stood on it to clean it up. I just don't know what to do or who to turn to. I want to get better but I just can't see any light at the end of the tunnel
  6. MisterBGone


    One thing that I have heard helps some people, is if they take their partner with them to the doctor/therapist, and have them explain what is medically going on. They may listen more to them than you, because it's incredibly difficult for them to know how it feels if they have not felt it themselves.
  7. emmagater12

    emmagater12 Member

    I see what you're saying but I really doubt it would help. This last week things have just got progressively worse and I've tried loads of ways of trying to make him understand. I even wrote him a long letter last night detailing all my feelings and why I felt them. He read it and said it was 'worrying'. That was it. His new tack is to force me to look after my kids alone when I'm feeling really bad. He thinks it'll force my to cheer up but I know I'm not in a fit state and he won't listen. I really am at a loss for what to do.
  8. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    If you cannot control your own actions even in the process of doing them and seeing them for what they are then you really do need professional help. Many many people claim that "meds did not help" but there are in fact 100's of different medications and combinations and dosages so without years of trying that is a short sighted statement. Equally I read hundreds of posts here every year where people claim meds did not help so they quit taking them a short while ago - and i can't help but notice while saying the meds made it worse so they quit taking the meds but fail to notice that 2 months before when taking the meds they were not here ready to "end it all tonight". That is pretty good evidence that they worked better than what the person perceived. Meds are not like recreational drugs where you take them and their is a dramatic mood shift instantly - they give a tiny leveling effect when dosed properly so you can still feel and experience both good and bad but the peaks and valleys will not be as overwhelming.

    I hope you do get professional help and then decide if you need to make changes in the relationships if it is the relationship that is causeing the problems rather than being effected by it - only you will be able to decide that.
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