Need Help

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by sakuragirl, Oct 21, 2008.

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  1. sakuragirl

    sakuragirl Well-Known Member

    I've been quiet just coming here and reading posts for a while, trying to convince myself its all going to be ok but now I realize it isn't going to be ok.

    I want to hold my hand out and help people around me but I feel so worthless that I cant, after all my opinion thoughts and hopes are worthless. Even the thought of giving someone an internet hug makes me sick because I wouldn't want to receive one from me anyway as I disgust myself.

    I've stopped crying and become numb to everything, no happiness or anything it like whats the point of existence, at least when I cried I felt alive. The cuts and bruises don't hurt anymore. But I cant cut deeper because then people might find out and lock me away. I've stopped leaving the house except for my doc appointment and then I don't want to go. All she did was double my medication.

    I'm not even getting dressed any more or cleaning the house. Angel is being really good to me and I do love him, if it wasn't for him I would of ended it already. I want to see the light, I don't want to feel this way, I just want to feel right now and I cant even do that.

    I'm at the end of my tether and I don't know what to do, I want to get better but I need help.
  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    You are worth it. Are you in any kind of counseling right now? If you aren't, why not give that a try, or find a new one if you are, because they aren't helping.
    When you say locked away it does sound horrible, but if you're feeling so terrible, maybe staying somewhere safe for a while wouldn't be bad. I personally enjoyed my stay at the hospital. Not that it magically cured me, but it was safe, and people were supportive.
    Getting dressed might make you feel better. If not that's ok. You're in a slump and it's ok that you're there. It doesn't mean you are worthless.
    How wonderful that you are here at least to share this with us.
    I'd give you a hug but only if you want one :heart:
  3. sakuragirl

    sakuragirl Well-Known Member

    Not in counseling yet, doc has recommended finding an online help if i don't want to get out of the house. I don't know where to start though.
  4. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    well in a way this is an online help site but i expect there are sites that can deal with problems specific to you in a proffessional way, someone on here may know of some.

    counseling is better face to face but if you don't want to leave the house maybe you can have someone drive you there and back to limit the time you are away.

  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi Sakuragirl. Don't be so hard on yourself. You're a sweet, caring girl and you have helped Angel on numerous occasions. Let him help you get better this time. I hope that things are going ok with you guys. You have to let yourself feel better hun. You deserve happiness, always remember that. :hug:
  6. sakuragirl

    sakuragirl Well-Known Member

    I'm trying really hard to get better, I want this to not be an issue anymore. I know its a struggle but I want to get better now
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