I am trying to find a site that has a chat room, or an IM chat that I can talk to someone to get help, and this site is the closest I can find. I have questions about where to go for help in my area (Mesa AZ), questions about my son and if I'll be able to keep him if I ask to be hospitalized. I have been dealing with severe depression for as long as I can remember. I suffered mental, emotional, and sexual abuse as a child, that only got worse when I was placed in foster care. I have been in therapy for more years than the therapists have gone to school (haven't been in over a year). I have been on every medication, amount, and combination there is. Nothing has helped, and I have gone from cutting (in the past) to risk taking, to obsessing about death. I am now at a point where I need help, know it, and am trying to get it. Please do not include phone numbers as I have them all, but have no phone. I can't just walk into a therapist office because of my state insurance and lack of vehicle. And I can't just call 911 because the only hospital they will take me to (the closest to my home) has sent me home every time I've tried this route, telling me that will not do anything until I am brought in with a "serious attempt to take my own life". I know that I even try to make it look like that, I would succeed, and this in not what I want for my child. Why is it that when someone tries to reach out for help, it is so hard to find the resources needed?!? Thanks in advance.