Hello there! My name is Riley, and I'm a guy. I mainly made this thread because I wanted to get other people's advice and opinions, especially from those who are older than I am. I'm currently 17 years old. Like many other people around my age, it's hard for us to see the future as hopeful, and as for myself, I feel as if becoming an adult is not the hopeful "breaking free story" as it is made out to be. To keep it short, I live in an abusive household, both emotionally and physically. Police refused to assist me saying I "lacked proof" of abuse and where I live, "minor disciplinary actions" are allowed as long as the "guardian" is using their bare hand. My parents think of this as a loophole. When I was 13, I used to dream of turning 18 and breaking free from them, from their homophobia, transphobia, abuse, everything. They're also extremely racist, and it's hard to be around. But now that I'm almost an adult, I feel hopeless and like this isn't possible in the slightest. My parents have already bought an apartment for me for when I grow up, right next to the university of their choice. They're forcing me to become a doctor, whether I want it or not; they already have the place to stay and the documents for my application, and, conveniently enough, said apartment is near where they're going to live so they can stop by and check on me whenever they want; in short, spying on me to make sure I can't do anything against their wishes. Many people have suggested running away, filing a restraining order, but due to years of emotional manipulation I'd feel too guilty... My mother says that everything she does is for me, working five jobs for me, spending money, for me. My mother says if I ever left her she'd commit suicide. My father says he'd never let me leave his grasp. At this point, I feel as if turning into an adult is not a new beginning of hope; it's the same prison I've always lived in and I feel like I'll only be able to be myself and feel free from the pain when I'm like, over 30, but by that point I'd have wasted my entire 20s pretending and hiding and hurting, wasting my education and my life. To be honest, I don't think I'd be able to live on knowing I can't be free. So, here is my question. I wanted to know if anybody else has recovered from an abusive household. Were you able to fully escape? Does the guilt of leaving them still haunt you? Is becoming an adult really a chance to escape? Is there any hope?