Need I Bother My Doctor? (Trigger warning)

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by ThePhantomLady, Mar 4, 2016.

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  1. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    A month ago I finished a 'project'... a very sick project that took several days... I won't give too many details for fear of inspiring someone... but I cut the top of my hand. Years back I did that with my other hand. But this one was a lot deeper... it didn't bleed much, which I found odd...

    There's also an element of chemical burn to the scar, again I am trying to avoid details... but I tried to make it worse by putting something into the bandaid... and pressed it with my thumb. I repeated the process for days... until I finally got out of the rut and fought to allow it to heal. It got infected though... but in the end it started to heal up and become a scar.

    It's been red since, the skin that finally formed over the cut was very thin and I assume see-through.
    It didn't help that I then sprained my wrist... which is starting to feel better now.

    I woke up yesterday and got a fright. I had managed to be sleeping on my hand. When I looked at it, the scar had turned black. over the day it faded a bit to purple... now it's dark brown.

    I have been looking it up online, and I've found everything from it being a normal thing in deep scar healing, over Keloid scaring to infection.

    It has been very sore, even before I laid on it... I have been wondering if I managed to hurt the muscle tissue in the hand?

    I feel like I've been seeing my doctor a bit too often lately... and I fear being misdiagnosed if I don't tell them what actually happened a month ago...

    I told my mother I burned my hand on my oven when she asked, and she completely believed me. But a chemical burn is a lot different to a heat burn.
  2. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN

    You need to see a doctor hon. The fact that it was black is not a good sign at all. Your hand is important (so is the rest of you, but losing function in your hand would be problematic) so go see a doctor, get it looked at and get it sorted out. And stop hurting yourself!! You don't deserve to hurt! (I know it isn't that easy but it needed to be said)

    ThePhantomLady likes this.
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