Need some advice about a friend in need

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by toffee, Sep 2, 2006.

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  1. toffee

    toffee New Member

    Hi, I would like to ask someone for some advice. I have a very old girlfriend who I have not seen for 8 years. I got an email in July just saying she was sorry. I wrote back saying that I was suprised to hear from her. I didnt hear anything else until last week when I got another email saying that she had had a nervous breakdown and done somehting stupid so was in a phychiatric hospital in London. I assume this was a suicide attempt. She had been looking after her sick mother for several years and her mother had died a few months back.

    I asked for her number, which she emailed me and I called her up. She sounded very tired and her speech was slow, possible medication? I can only explain it as she sounded like a very old pensioner even though she is only 33. I kept the conversation quite benign because I was not sure what to say or what her condition was. Basically, she had an abortion when I was dating her and my working hypothesis is that this has come out in therapy in the hospital hence the contact. I want to go down to london to visit her. I asked her if I could and she said that would be nice.

    My questions are basically, what can I expect when I see her. Are there certain things I should defitiely not talk about? What sort of support does she need. Why did she contact me? Should I phone the hospital ahead and check it is OK to visit? Really do not know where to start with this one. Thanks,

    Tim
     
  2. cthulhu

    cthulhu Well-Known Member

    phone ahead, shoulder to cry on, dont push and she contacted you because you are her friend...so just bee that for now, you will figur out the rest as time gose by...
     
  3. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    People react in differnt ways, you can never know what to exspect until you see her, let her talk about things, she needs someone to talk about, and she will start talking about subjects, dont mention anything that you think will upset her, if she brings it up then talk about it, if you start talking about a hard time for her, chances are she'll get upset.

    She contacted you because she knows you, you'v got a past with her, she proberbly feels that you can relate to her alot more than anyone else can, she wants someone to be there for her, someone she trust, someone she cares for, she wants you to be a shoulder to cry on. And yes ring the hospital first, some patients aren't allowed visiters, so it would be best to check first


    take care

    vikki x
     
  4. Xian

    Xian Well-Known Member

    Just be there with her! And smile and make her feel your love, because that's probably what she's been in need of.
     
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