ok, some of you might know about my past but to fill others in,i'm 19 and i was sexually abused for 4 years from the age of 6 which stopped when i stopped seeing the abuser. i was then gang-raped aged 10 on an estate round the corner from my house. i was then raped aged 16 by a "friend" and then i was raped again when i was in psych hospital by another patient.
my mum and dad know about the rapes, but have no idea about the abuse, and its not something i can tell them because of personal reasons and to be honest, what they know is enough to explain the way i am, being in and out of hospital etc.
the thing is, my little sister, when i first went into hospital, we decided was too young, being 14, to know about my past, cos she was having to deal with her sister being taken to a mental hospital as it was.
now, she is nearly 17 and feels like she "isn't part of the family" becuase we all have this big secret from her, cos she knows that there is something that made me go into hospital but doesnt know what it is. its not like we talk about it or anything, but she still feels left out and said to my mum that its eating her up inside not knowing and that she wishes i could confide in her.
she recently went to see her gp after having a panic attack, my parents went with her, and this was the main reason for her anxiety. what the fuck am i doing to her? i thought i was protecting her but apparently im making things worse. but then it'll be worse if she does know aswell. oh i don't know.
i still see her as my "little" sister even though she's older now, and i dont want her to know, but am i being selfish? i just dont know what to do.
any ideas would really be appreciated. thanks,
my mum and dad know about the rapes, but have no idea about the abuse, and its not something i can tell them because of personal reasons and to be honest, what they know is enough to explain the way i am, being in and out of hospital etc.
the thing is, my little sister, when i first went into hospital, we decided was too young, being 14, to know about my past, cos she was having to deal with her sister being taken to a mental hospital as it was.
now, she is nearly 17 and feels like she "isn't part of the family" becuase we all have this big secret from her, cos she knows that there is something that made me go into hospital but doesnt know what it is. its not like we talk about it or anything, but she still feels left out and said to my mum that its eating her up inside not knowing and that she wishes i could confide in her.
she recently went to see her gp after having a panic attack, my parents went with her, and this was the main reason for her anxiety. what the fuck am i doing to her? i thought i was protecting her but apparently im making things worse. but then it'll be worse if she does know aswell. oh i don't know.
i still see her as my "little" sister even though she's older now, and i dont want her to know, but am i being selfish? i just dont know what to do.
any ideas would really be appreciated. thanks,