About a year ago, I wrote my story about my experiences here and why I suffer from depression and suicidal thoughts. At this point, I really don't feel like going into much detail again about my past problems so I'll just make it simple and tell you all what's currently going on... I really need some advice on my appearance. Keep in mind, I will not show my Facebook or picture here for the public to see in this thread, but I would like to show some volunteers from here my Facebook in a private message and want people to give me an honest to truth opinion about the way I look. I would prefer it if only females saw it please since I am straight, but if you truly feel the need to help me I'll take whatever help I can get whether male or female. The way I look at it, women find me incredibly repulsive. They do not blatantly say I do, but that's the vibe I get whenever dealing with girls no matter where I am. My mother and people in my family say I'm good looking, but maybe they're just saying that because they're family and supposed to say things like that about their loved ones! I'm not only depressed, but angry at this world because I feel like I'm not even of this planet because of me feeling like a putrid outcast freak. My friend and his family and friends all think I'm this "cool guy" who plays in a band and gets chicks easily, when that isn't the case at all. I've told people close to me of my issues and they just don't seem to care or listen except for my loving Mom of course. My Mom doesn't understand it either... For the love of Pan, I play in a Depressive Black Funeral Doom one man project. So you know it doesn't have the same effect as Motley Crue or WASP did on the ladies back in the 80's... but still, that shouldn't stop me from finding someone especially being as "good looking" as I am. I just hate the youth culture of today as well. It doesn't help that I'm practically the only freak in my whole city who listens to extreme metal music. Anyway, a few days ago I attempted to contact this girl who I knew back in Jr high school that actually was one of the few who signed my yearbook before graduation. I know it's been well over 8-9 years since we last saw each other, but I thought she would at least be thrilled to see/speak with me again on Facebook after so many years of not speaking. To top it off, another girl told me she (the one I'm trying to contact) liked me back then, but I didn't believe her at the time so I just ignored that fact. Long story short, she fucking denies my friend request and blocks me. WHY?! What did I do to deserve such treatment when all I did was try to rekindle a lost and forgotten friendship by adding her as a Facebook friend. Did my ugly face scare her away or something? This is all only a small margin of how my life reeks. Every girl I attempt to throw myself at gets shot down in horrible failure. It happens everywhere I go, even on vacation. Apart from that, I just feel lost inside. I know I said I would commit suicide years and years ago, but I don't want to leave my parents in grief over my loss. If it wasn't for my parents caring about me, my brain would be xxxxxxxxxxxxx. That's how I want it to end if I do decide to end it.