need some cheerleaders

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by dazzle11215, Aug 25, 2008.

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  1. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    hi guys, i fear i am relapsing a little bit. could do with a bit of cheerleading.

    i think i am relapsing 'cos i am fantasizing about suicide alot these days. every night i curl up in bed and have a good long daydream about it. part of my problem is the recent move. in ireland i had a psych, a therapist, a mental health nurse, the guy at the hotline, and my doctor all watching out for me in some way or other. here in canada i just have me. it seems too much and i feel so alone.

    now i know what they mean about avoiding stress, how stress can be a trigger. i am apartment hunting, and job hunting and this little voice says to me "who would want to hire you..." and "what makes you think you deserve a fresh start..." and you know it's hard to argue with those little voices. i miss my therapist. i am trying to keep busy but i am struggling so much.

    i know i should probably find a doctor here and check in with him/her but i have no health insurance for the first three months and i dread sharing my story with a stranger, once again. but i guess if i did it once i could do it again. i dunno....

    thanks for listening.
  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    I know what you mean. You can do it again tho :). I have faith in you.

  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hello Dazzle,
    You should have no problem finding a job because you are very out going and you have a positive attitude. You are probably stressing because of the change.
    Keep in mind you have a lot of people here at the forum who are behind you and support you! You said you have to wait three months before you can get the help you need. Is it possible to go to the ER and get them to perscribe the meds you need?
    Keep posting and we'll be here for you! Take Care and Stay Strong...:chopper:...
  4. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Glad to hear that you're trying to get a fresh start dazzle, with a new job and apartment. Just tell those negative voices to shut up and go away, when they start bringing you down. Keep up your positve attitute and stay safe. :hug:
  5. bluegrey

    bluegrey Antiquities Friend

    I hope you find a cozy apartment. Home is the most important place in the world! :smile:
  6. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    well i called up the health clinic that is supposed to take people without insurance and they say i should call back in mid september, that their waiting list is closed. private insurance won't cover "pre existing conditions" which my shaky mental health def. is. i have 6 weeks left of medication and i'm really out of ideas. i am isolating again, crying tons, sleeping too much and generally sliding back down into this mess. my head feels like a storm brewing and i just want it all to end. i don't want to go down this path again. i just want to check out now.
  7. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    You are just overwhelmed with all the changes going on for you dazzle. You can get through this. Maybe you will find a job that has insurance with open enrollment.You will make it. I have faith in you. :hug: You go girl. :cheer:
  8. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    thanks for the kind words. i am trying to stick to the list but with too much time on my hands to think things over it's not good. not good at all.
  9. Austere Night

    Austere Night Well-Known Member

    A great way to absorb time is to choose a topic and research. I have no formal education in it, but I'm roughly as good with computers as IT guys.
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