Hey guy's this might be a bit long but, I feel like I am so close to just ending my life. I am 25 years old and I am attracted to a 42 year old co-worker. I can't really explain why I became attracted to her but I think it became about her flirting with me and then me return flirting. She can be flirtatious person but when were ever out on a work party she flirts with me a lot. We have done trips together and making conversation with her is no problem for me. People from work went to the bar once and her kid came along he is 20 and she even said to him that I was his dad joking and he was OK with it, which I kind of felt awkward at the time not knowing how he would react. I have asked her to go do stuff at times, but she sometimes makes excuses. She does have another kid who is 15 so that would be priority then doing stuff with me. Now I know working relationships can cause tension down the road in the work place if things don't work out. She is to the point where having a kid would be tough. The thing is I think about her constantly and being a work makes me think of her more. She has a awesome personality and we get along great with each other. She hasn't really dated much over the last 4 years and when she did it lasted 3 months maybe less. I don't know if she would even consider dating someone my age. I had her over for some drinks to my house and we talked for a good 4-5 hours but I couldn't spit out my feelings for her but she did give me what felt like the longest hug when she left. I texted her the next day asking if she would like to go for a walk this is last Sunday. She replied she was had plans and would another night work? I said yes just let me know a day and will go, she never replied back. To add to this long post, I need some help with some other stuff. I live on my own I just bought a new house and the feeling of be lonely is getting to me so badly. I work with a bunch of older people who have families, I get along great with them all and don't mind hanging out with people older then me. It's just hard to do stuff when they have other priories, or I ask and they make an excuse or don't have the money. I want to ask this women over again or go for a walk but I am so scared that all the time people will think I am lonely and have no friends and need someone. I feel like I am the one always doing the asking when no one ever asks me to do stuff. It almost makes my body shut down and become so lazy I don't feel like leaving my house. I think about her constantly as well which probably doesn't help. Cheers everyone appreciate and feedback.