I apologize in advance for this being so lengthy, so I hope you'll bare with me as I share it. I just feel it'll help give the best picture of the pickle I'm finding myself in. Ok. I'm a consumer advocate on some committees for the state. Just started doing this a couple years ago, so still fairly new to it all. I've been received quite warmly there which is why I'm now on more than the original committee I started on. I've also recently become a mental health client again after enduring a pretty significant trauma a few months ago. After having gone through that, it might go without saying, but I had become a bit moodier and haven't really been my normal, easy going, polite self that people are so used to seeing. I became a bit more tense (still never rude though), but do my best to hide it. (Some days I seem to be able to hide it better than others.) Now I know others are noticing a difference, and some people in my personal life have actually said so while those I serve on the committees with haven't, but I 'know' they're seeing a difference. They just haven't said anything which is fine and understandable being as it's business, not personal, at the meetings, which is why I haven't spoken up and told anyone something happened. Here's what I need some opinions on. I'm feeling bad about not being my normal easy going self at the meetings, and I'm beginning to fear I'm starting to make those at the meetings feel uneasy about my being there simply based on the looks I'm getting. Their looks really are ones of concern, and those could be interpreted in any number of ways. Now, I'm somewhat close(r) to one lady on the committees. After my heart surgery last year she offered to start taking me for my bottled water runs (I buy them by the case), and she really seems to enjoy doing this for me. She's also taken me to and/or from some meetings because we live relatively close to one another. We also have a special connection through her being an adoptive mom of 2 boys out of foster care. (They're now grown.) I was adopted out of foster care when I was 10wks old, and we both have a love of children. She actually advocates for children at these meetings. We've had some nice talks, but not anything too intensely personal, either. Anyways, I haven't told anyone from the meetings that I suffered a trauma a few months back, and there's a part of me that thinks it might be good to let just one person know (without sharing any specifics) so it will help them understand a little better why the sudden changes in me and if need be they can let it be known (when relevant) to others we serve with. I'm thinking if I share with anyone it would be the one lady. However, I don't want it to concern anyone too much, either. (There's no need for that.) I'm also terrified of the possible ramifications by sharing, too. I had one, trusted friend who works at the mental health center suggest I go ahead and share with the one lady (again no specifics) just so they'll understand why I'm being the way I am right now, but I'm still not sure. I play out possible outcomes of stepping out and sharing - I guess as a way of preparing myself. I know that more often than not it rarely goes the various ways my head will play things out, but still..... I fear that by sharing I will be getting too personal, and fear that it may be more than anyone wants or should hear even though I can't and wouldn't share specifics with them. Guess you could say I'm wondering what you all think. Do you think I should share just so at least one person has a better understanding, or do you think given the business nature of it all that it'd be too much to share? Or do you have other thoughts about this? I'm just torn on what might be the best way to handle this with the committee folks. Thanks in advance for any opinions you can offer!!!!