Since it was just the holidays, stress had worn off. For a bit. As soon as it ended, (the holidays) I felt all of the old stress and depression rushing back. I remember how my school life is. If it makes it easier, I'll just list my problems. --School-- -Avoided -Picked last in almost everything -As small as this may seem, not included in any group pictures, and if I am, they're almost always deleted. -Discriminated because I'm white; I often hear the term white used as an insult around my school like (and this is an almost exact quote) "I hate him because he's Asian and he doesn't act Asian. He acts white and I hate his white guts." -Having trouble in my classes -My friends exchange glances when they think I'm not looking. They're very wary, annoyed glances. A combination of these- :dry: :unsure: --At home-- -I live with my mother and grandparents, and though it doesn't sound bad, my grandparents are always screaming at each other, and the house hadn't been taken care of for 20+ years before we moved in. No one wants to come to my house because of that. - My mom is on the verge of a mental breakdown because of her work schedule, and is moody a lot. She seems like a burden is on her, and I feel that burden is me. --My Self-- -I have self esteem issues. I never accept compliments, I always twist them in my mind to seem like they were obligatory compliments. -I expect the worst out of every situation. I get in the car, I think "Well, here goes my last days on Earth. We're going to crash." -I'm sadistic. I'll make myself cry. I don't even know why. And all these thoughts are being pushed down upon me at 13. I should be enjoying my life right about now, but all I feel is shame. --Before You Ask-- - I have been diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety - I am on medication - I go to therapy The medication seems to be wearing off, though. Sorry for the long read, but I need help.