Need someone to listen, all alone.

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by TheBLA, Sep 26, 2006.

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  1. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    I have so many problems, I don't know where to begin, I feel that I will commit suicide, its just a matter of when. Nobody takes me seriously and I don't know if even I do. I need someone to listen but yet I'm not fully prepared to bare my soul out, I guess only if someone would truly listen to me. My parents keep telling me that unlike other people my age that have commited suicide, that they will always support and listen to me but those assholes don't listen, they don't care. I'm not even supposed to be depressed, nobody in my family has ever been depressed or gone to see a psychologist except me, I'm a complete loser and a freak, I need to die, I can't keep living as a complete failure. :sad:

    Everyone thinks I'm gonna be happy and successful in my life, but they couldn't be more wrong, I need to commit suicide. I'm the most deserving person of suicide, I feel that others who have commited suicide should not have and I should have done so instead. Why do I keep delaying the inevitable?
     
  2. Shinigami

    Shinigami Member

    I hope you don't mind me adding my few cents, but I don't believe there is such a thing as "supposed to be depressed". I don't consider depression as something that is compatible with some and not so much with others. I just consider depression part of life. Everyone gets depressed sooner or later. Though the levels of depression may certainly have a range, do you really think that because you suffer a bit more than others, you're a loser or a freak?

    Everyone's mind works differently. Just because you have the blood of your parents and back, does not mean you in essense are your parents. You are a completely different person. Failures do not exist in this world. Anywhere. No, just people who give up or do not try. Tell me, what good is success if we do not have failure? Can you imagine a life where you got everything perfectly on the first time, without fail?

    If we couldn't fail, then what fun would that lost boss in video games be? What point would there be in sports-they'd always end in a tie? And in movies, the hero would never win-nor would the villian for that matter. Failure is neccessary in this life. Just because you fail at somethings does not mean you fail at all things. It doesn't mean you can't try again. Just because you fail more or less than most people does not make you a failure.

    Complete failure? I don't think it exists. You're not a loser or a freak, either. Look at it this way: you're here in a forum where hundreds of other users have been. There are thousands, if not millions, of people just like you who suffer depression. And not even all of them have the courage to come here seeking help. Can you really call yourself a loser or a freak for a problem that is shared with so many other people across the world?

    You don't need to die, you want to die. The least you can do for yourself is to say want, for then it will seem less imperative that you do die. Besides, neccessities are the things one needs to move on-kind of a contradiction to say you "need" to die, right? <mod edit shygirl: unhelpful>
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 27, 2006
  3. consciousinsane

    consciousinsane Well-Known Member

    Your not alone. I feel the same way. I feel like such a loser. I'm the freak of the family. I'm, like you, the only person in my family to have been to a psychiatrist and in 2 different psych wards. So you can't be much worse than me. Keep trying. Your body naturally wants to fight to keep living. Life is not easy, nor perfect. So don't feel as though you have to instantly not be depressed anymore. It takes time. Just accept that your depressed. Know it might be a long while before it gets better, but that sooner or later, things will pick up for the better. That's all I know to do. :unsure:
     
  4. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    I feel as though I am suffering a lot more than others, and I am a loser/freak because I lack the basic things everyone else has, my life is very very empty, a shell. Sorry I haven't gone to any more detail. Try to do it later. Sigh....................:sad: :sad: :sad: :sad:
     
  5. Shinigami

    Shinigami Member

    If you'll allow me to ask, what are these "basic things" you lack? And even if you were to lack particular things others have, I'm sure there are things you do have that many people don't! Everyone has something they lack. It's similiar to the phrase "Common sense really isn't really that common."
     
  6. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    I'm just so fucking pathetic. I have no friends, no social life, none of the academic accolades and other accomplishments all of the other I know do. Its much worse that you probably think, I'm just not going into too much detail.
    I'm feeling more depressed than ever right now. I'm really hurting and I feel so ignored here, I really feel like the biggest loser alive. And the thing is, is that my brain telling me that or am I really the biggest loser alive? I could very well be. Sigh....:sad: :sad: :sad:

    I'm really sad right now. I've never cut or anything like that, just been thinking about suicide. I'm wishing that my depression will get quickly worse to a point that I'll snap and attempt a hopefully sucessful suicide attempt.

    I don't think I've scratched the surface to why I have to commit suicide, why I feel so depressed, but everyone else around me is so much better than me and I'll be lonely, pathetic and miserable all my life.

    What makes it worse is that I'm not allowed to be depressed, my parents think I'll be really happy and sucessful, they are so damn naive. I'm not suitable to living, I'm a failure as a human being.
     
  7. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    You know I ask the same question to myself, why do I wait. For me I bet it is because I am all talk and no show like I have always been....

    So I come here to talk about it because you cannot trust people IRL.
     
  8. consciousinsane

    consciousinsane Well-Known Member

    Are you still going to school? If so, what are you taking and why?

    When I was in college, I didn't have ANY friends either. Even the teachers ignored me. I felt like (and still feel) I am in everyones way. The only reason I continued on is (1) because like you my parents pressured me. In fact had it not been for my mother signing me up herself, I would have never gone. (2) is because for some reason, I value intellegence. Not that I have any.

    The point I'm trying to make is that even though you have no one to socialize with, and even though you are pressured by your parents, maybe, just maybe, there is one small positve thing that you can focus on. Concern yourself only with that, and it will help you carry on.
     
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