Need someone to talk to

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Soldier83, Sep 3, 2013.

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  1. Soldier83

    Soldier83 Well-Known Member

    For some reason the feeling of being separated from the person I am trying to talk to by a veil of anonymity is comforting. I dont know why I have lied to you, but here is the truth. I was in the military for 8 years, I was never deployed so I don't have the PTSD some soldiers get after a conflict. I have tried to talk to my wife about my feelings, but it never goes well. I have not talked to a health professional about these feelings of mine nor have I contacted a hospital. I have had 23 attempts, without success, in my lifetime. I feel I am a coward, a useless human being, and a mistake on my family. I have no future plans because I cant see past today. Nothing would please me more than to release this pain in my heart, but if I knew how to do that I wouldn't be writing this. I thought writing this might make me feel better but it actually made me feel worse. Sorry about the novel, just thought getting this into the open might help.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Putting the pain in words so you can see it will make one feel worse hun but at least the pain is out in the open not inside you eating away I wish too you could reach out to your doctor it would be confidential and it takes courage ok to do that. It took me along time to do it but i can tell you once you have the support in your corner the pain and sadness can be kept under control ok I am glad you are posting so others who can relate that are in the military can see and help you. Please know you are not alone ok keep talking you keep posting here until you feel comfortable to reach out in real life
     
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    What happens when you try to talk to your wife about how you feel, how does she react?

    Just want you to know we're listening. :hug:
     
  4. tonyb8512

    tonyb8512 Member

    When i say this, im not looking for pity, just here to let you know how similar my life is. Your words are with out a doubt a exact feeling of how I feel. Like a coward...and not only useless but a mistake to everyone around me and to this entire world. My wife doesn't listen or really even trys to hear/understand me when I talk. Its the stubborness some people are raised with and can't get rid of ... I wish I could just press a button but it has to be so much harder then that .
     
  5. Psych77

    Psych77 Well-Known Member

    Still listening.

    I hope you can find some comfort and friendship here. Soldier and Tony. Keep talking. We'll keep listening. Just make it through today.
     
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