Hello, I apologize for my first post on this site to be ...this. I uhm...I dunno what else to try. The drugs, working out, stress management, I have to say...I'm kinda wondering if anything is going to help. I shouldn't even be depressed, you know? I have a nice family, and a wonderful fiance, I'm not homeless or jobless, anything that I can work into my mind to make me feel this way. Sure money is tight, my health is not my best quality, and I don't know what the word vacation means. That's just life though, in this country, that's just..how it's laid out for me. Lately I've been feeling very lost....kind of wrong. And entertainingly enough I have lots of friends and a boy who is willing to listen, but how do I explain to them that I can't talk to them? I'm the strong friend who does for everyone else and vanishes into the back ground when she's no longer needed. I like it that way, I think? Lately though...it's been on my mind. To just drop everything and fall asleep one night. Not have to carry everything by myself...not have to always be the responsible person and be constantly running around. I guess it's just one of those things...I wish someone could visit me at home for once...and I wouldn't have to go there. Or someone else could drive the group places and I could relax in the backseat. Still these things are not a reason to think about...this. It's probably my depression. It's been rooted in pretty deep since I was about eight. I don't know what to say. I just hope someone has those...magic words. That magic phrase that's supposed to make this stop. Anyways...to all of the random people who read this. Thanks for listening.