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Need this off my chest.

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Escapist

Well-Known Member
#1
Hey there,

There is something that i've noticed when sifting through the forums, and i'm kind of bothered by it. Now, I won't name anyone, for obvious reasons. But I would like to get this off my chest.

--

Sometimes when reading a thread one states that they've tried everything in attempt to solve their problem. Now, when someone replies and gives the author advice and ideas in order to overcome the problem in question, they give a response like 'No that won't work' or 'It's no use, tried it already'. But honestly, did you?

People give their input to help someone and then they'll receive a reply like that in return? If the author really tried everything, then it most likely wouldn't be having problems anymore. I just find it rather idiotic how some author's shoot one's replies down like that. I've seen plenty of users who spend a fair share of time on their reply and then you just get a lousy reply in return, with 'Nah, won't work.'

Hopefully it made sense.

On a different note; You can overcome any problem aslong as you have the will to do so. Thus saying that you tried everything is utter bullshit. No offense. But think about it.

Anyhow, thanks for reading.
 

Acy

Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense
Staff member
Safety & Support
#2
Hiya, Escapist.

I know the sort of thing you mean. But I figure since I don't know the original poster in RL, s/he might have tried a suggestion before or have other experiences that make a suggestion hard to accept or scary to try.

In my own experience, people have sometimes suggested things that I felt I've already tried and don't want to try again...But then later I realize that maybe it's something that needs practice, needs to be done a few times before it works or can be discounted.

That said, the nature of depression is negativity. So, it's common that a depressed person who has tried a suggestion (even just once) and it didn't work, might feel that trying again is useless.

Yes, the negative thinking that is common in depression can be frustrating for those who want and try to help. Sadder still, depression can make a sufferer sabotage their own efforts or even stop them from trying. I guess that's why support is so important. I know for me, sometimes support means just letting me be in a mood and gripe...until I sort my feelings and can move on constructively.

Just my nickel's worth, hun.
 
#3
This site is a success because it really does work like a team, if you could bottle up what this site has and sell it, you would make millions.
Where there is negativity there is a positive.
Where there is despair there is hope.
Where there is lonliness there is company.
Where there is anger there is gentleness.
Where there is hate there is love.
And so on.
 
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41021

Banned Member
#4
Sometimes folks are frustrated or confused. They might state they have tried everything, some may have (at least tried everything they could think of or that has been suggested up to that point). Folks will offer ideas and suggestions. Poster might shoot them all down. Sometimes it's because what they really need or want, is just a bit of support, kindness, caring. When I notice that, i try to change my tune, back off on the suggestions and try to offer more of a shoulder.

Sometimes it's difficult for us to express ourselves. Can't get the right words out. Emotions running high, etc. Maybe we have no clue what we need or are looking for.

I'm sure there are times when everyone's suggestions will be shot down by a poster, but later they may take them under consideration.

I think it's okay.
 
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