I'm tired of thinking about suicide and feeling that I absolutely have to commit suicide but still having things that are stopping me from doing so, such as paining my parents and little brother over my death and suicide. I'm tired of being in limbo, I just need to die instead of living as a loser, as a zombie. I need to take depressants, ( I guess alcohol?) something to get rid of my inhibitions so I can just kill myself without anything to stop me. I wish I could make it so that my parents and little brother wouldn't miss me when I commit suicide.