i need a drink so bad I'm rinsing my bottles of johnny out and drinking the water. it kind of tastes like whisky. Sad, I know. I'm just too poor right now to buy anything. I can't face something like AA, facing people about drinking . . . . Fuck at my age I should be proud that I can put down a bottle and ask for more. When I try and hang out with old friends it always ends up that we drink, I never want to drink as much as I do. As soon as I start the "just one beer." "Baby I'll get to you after I finish this drink." Turns into drinking and finding another bar, what you want to call it quits? Fucking fags get away from me you god damn pussies! Then I piss myself and collapse in the street. I don't want to drink so why do I feel like I need it?