Need to escape psychological/emotional abuse but I am stuck

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Aquariusrising, Jun 25, 2016.

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  1. Aquariusrising

    Aquariusrising Active Member

    hi. I am 24. I grew up very sheltered. I have no friends or support. I am abused by my narcissistic morher who has borderline traits. She talks down to me constantly and the hurt is too much to bear. She doesn't love me.
    I have not been able to get mental help. The system has not been too good for me in the past for a few reasons. Some of it my fault. They now won't accept me in and I can't get answers why they keep seemingly trying to shove me away from an apparent "waiting list". I believe they have bad records of me for reasons I don't want to go into, I just wasn't liked by those I saw.
    I am deeply depressed. My mother is all my family and I have no friends or family. I am stuck and have no idea what to do in the real world. I am so lost and have felt suicidal tonight but am too afraid to do anything. Few years ago I made a slight attempt. If i wasn't a christian I would've done something
    I am a born-again Christian but that hasn't worked out.
    I don't know what to do I have nothing. No family, no friends to help. My doctor can't help either.
  2. MyCatWillMissMe

    MyCatWillMissMe Well-Known Member

    Hey I'm sorry you feel like you're stuck and alone. I often feel the same way. I don't even have a place to live anymore and will be living in my car next week. Sure I have family but they don't care. Part of it is my fault but only because I never responded well to the abuse they put me through. I hope you have someone to talk to or you can at least talk here.
  3. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Alumni

    Aquariusrising. so sorry to hear of your troubles. I really hope you can get away from the abusive relationship you are in. As a born again Christian, do you have a church family that can help you? They can often be a wonderful source of support.
  4. Aquariusrising

    Aquariusrising Active Member

    no, no church. I have thought about it but haven't had acceptance there either and am too afriad to go. tired of wasting my time. You go for God, but it is too hard when you feel unaccepted and are ostrasize there.
  5. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Can you go to a different doctor for help?
  6. SomeGuy77

    SomeGuy77 Well-Known Member

    Been there, I'm sorry that you're going through all that.

    In my humble little opinion all mothers love their children no matter how narcissistic they are. Some of them just don't realize they are hurting their children. Answer narcissism and unkind words with kind words, be kind to her, for as you said yourself she's the only family you got. Teach her love and kindness and you'll feel better in the process.
  7. Aquariusrising

    Aquariusrising Active Member

    thanks. No, I am stuck. I am quite depressed. Feel quite depressed tonight. Looked at some pages of those I went to school with who bullied or snubbed me... who now are married, kids, jobs, uni..etc and I've never had any of that. I feel so much like I want to die...I want to die so much
  8. SomeGuy77

    SomeGuy77 Well-Known Member

    Yah been there too, actually I am there right now. I've checked old classmates on FB a lot, and it always makes me depressed, because like you I do not have any of those things either. I was suicidal for so long, decades...But now I'm not, I'm still depressed many days, but a lot less. I don't know, the reason might be that after time passes you grow stronger and stronger because of all the hardship. But other than that I've also spiritually found myself, that I have a purpose here, to learn from life.

    But I do recall those days when like you I felt stuck, didn't see any way out other than suicide. But no matter how bad life seemed to me at times it always got better after some time. To a point that I couldn't believe why I felt so stuck before, the brain does work very strangely when it's depressed.
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