hi. I am 24. I grew up very sheltered. I have no friends or support. I am abused by my narcissistic morher who has borderline traits. She talks down to me constantly and the hurt is too much to bear. She doesn't love me. I have not been able to get mental help. The system has not been too good for me in the past for a few reasons. Some of it my fault. They now won't accept me in and I can't get answers why they keep seemingly trying to shove me away from an apparent "waiting list". I believe they have bad records of me for reasons I don't want to go into, I just wasn't liked by those I saw. I am deeply depressed. My mother is all my family and I have no friends or family. I am stuck and have no idea what to do in the real world. I am so lost and have felt suicidal tonight but am too afraid to do anything. Few years ago I made a slight attempt. If i wasn't a christian I would've done something I am a born-again Christian but that hasn't worked out. I don't know what to do I have nothing. No family, no friends to help. My doctor can't help either.