Need to get out my feeling

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by gizmokid, Aug 10, 2016.

  1. gizmokid

    gizmokid New Member

    I am, well you all know how I am if I'm posting here. A bit of background: I have several painful illnesses (and some diseases, yeah!). this past year has been excruciating for me. I fell down a flight of stairs a year ago and messed up my already messed up back, neck, head, and knees. Then 35 days later I was admitted to the ER with severe GI pain. Like pain so bad the ambulance had to get me to the hospital. I was told to never take an NSAID ever again.

    Fast forward a few months and I'm sick for s good two weeks on, 2 weeks off. I've been camped out on the couch in a room where no one will see me for the past week. When you add that to severe daily chronic migraines. I even had two migraine surgeries done on my nerves in December 15 and March 16.

    But what I need someone's help is this: my husband and kids. They treat me like I'm a ghost and they can't see me. Then I tell my husband time after time that our budget is screwed and we need to look at it together because I'm tired of everyone giving me a hard time, the silent treatment, arguing with me, and just generally treated like crap.

    My kids are the worst. I have a 15 yo and an almost 19 yo. They have absolutely no respect for me. They treat me like I'm a piece of trash. And I try to get my husband to talk to them parent to child speak and tell them to quit being mean to me and show some courtesy. So now my daughter stays in her room all day so she won't have to help me. My son expects my to hop up and take him to his job coach at 10 when he doesn't get up until 9:30. My son honestly says the most cruelest thing. And I can't kick him out because he has a learning disability and severe ADHD and it was getting to be such a huge problem getting a job the the state unemployment dept hired a job coach for him to help him get a job.
    Do you know what the most defeating, most sad thing I've ever see? That I need my sons help because I need to be taken to my dr appointments. Do you how soul-crushing it is to need a person to drive you and they make it clear with vocal and non-vocal bod language so that it's clear he doesn't want to take me anymore

    But back to me. I have bipolar disorder, but 99% of my episodes are mania, not depression. But I just can't take it any more! The bipolar I've only had for 11 years now. but I'm shouldering all this crap in my head. The money situation, the kids ignoring me then treating me like crap, and some more stuff just hit the surface last night.

    But anyway, between the constant money problem my hubby won't look at the budget. But we didnt. So now I feel really really stupid and sad

    And my husband is absolutely a non talker. He's not one to say what he thinks. It's tough because I have to look for a little ol' car with no gas is going to make me not go pick Andrew up
     
  2. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi gizmo and welcome to SF. Thats a very interesting, yet disturbing story there. I can relate a little because I have caused damage to my little family in trying to take my own life. The relationship with my son is strained at best, things with my partner are not great either.

    We are trying to build a few bridges with the help of family therapy. I am UK based, so its probably different for me than for yourself. But that might be a route for you to explore. The dynamic is changed with that 3rd person looking in from the outside, seeing a completely different perspective to what we see of our relationships. Not sure if that a option for you or not. I hope it is because so far, its been very beneficial for us and is helping.

    Hopefully there will be others who can relate to your situation and they can pass on their experiences for you to draw upon.
     
    chiaroscura likes this.
  3. chiaroscura

    chiaroscura BestTimePlantTree?100 YearsAgo. NextBestTime?Now. SF Supporter

    Gizmokid, You absolutely MUST meet calvinandhobbes, a very new member here, Her situation is so identical to yours, that I had to check twice to be sure who was posting, you or her! You will love her, and she will love you. You won't believe the similarities. I'm too new to know exactly how to find her, but you can probably figure it out.

    Your story must be sooooo difficult to live through. It broke my heart. I can't imagine, although I do know what "soul-crushing pain" feels like, as you say. A great description.

    But you are safe now. You have landed in the greatest forum that could ever be. You are no longer alone, and we care, TRULY care, about you, as you will soon recognize. I'll check on you for sure, and you can always feel free to seek a shoulder 24/7. Don't forget to check on chat, a very active place where you can meet a lot of new people quickly, which you can get to from here by clicking the little gray and white thing in the lowest bottom right corner, which looks, comically like a medicine capsule. hahaha Or of course you can just click on CHAT somewhere at the top of the page. I'm really a genius of a guide, aren't I? ha! NOT!

    So glad to meet you. Look forward to hearing much more from you! Luv, Chia
     
  4. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid Safety & Support SF Supporter

    This should take you to @calvinandhobbs profile, click on the name. Yep, it works, just click on profile page when the box appears.
     
    chiaroscura likes this.
  5. chiaroscura

    chiaroscura BestTimePlantTree?100 YearsAgo. NextBestTime?Now. SF Supporter

    Yay! Now I know how to do that! Thank you SK!
     
  6. calvinandhobbs

    calvinandhobbs Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry and yes very the same. My biggest hugs to you. Even the name is the same :(