Need to get stuff off my chest

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by SoTired, Jun 4, 2016.

  1. SoTired

    SoTired Well-Known Member

    So I was readmitted to the hospital last night (medical problem, not psychological). My platelets have dropped to 1000 (low and safe is around 50000). My main support person just told me today that he can't deal with my problems anymore, my issues are driving him to a nervous breakdown. I feel like shit for that. I'm scared, and for the first time in a long time feel completely alone. I was staying with him, now he wants me to leave, cause he can't take it anymore. He told me that I should just go home to my parents, knowing that they were abusive and horrible to me for most of my life. I just don't know what to do. I feel so lost right now.
  2. Justsheila

    Justsheila Member

    I am so sorry!!! It is so hard when people leave you when you need them most.
  3. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    *hugs* I am sorry that he doesn't want to help you. Do you have somewhere safe to go? What about community services?
  4. SoTired

    SoTired Well-Known Member

    I don't know. I'm just really upset. One of the hardest things for me has always been the threat of being alone, and while I understand logically that I'm not a terrible person, the little nag in my head tells me exactly how worthless I am every time something like this happens. And that it's my fault. I dumped too much on someone who couldn't take it, and I ended up hurting them. It's the same thing that's happened before. And I don't think I can fix it, it's just the result of the same colossal screw up that I've always been. I just wish I could go back and change everything. I just don't know anymore. Thanks for the support. I really needed it tonight
    Justsheila likes this.
  5. MyCatWillMissMe

    MyCatWillMissMe Well-Known Member

    I really feel you on that last post. I also know I'm not a terrible person but at the same time I somehow manage to lose everyone and I just wish I could go back and fix things. It's maddening, gut wrenching, and very depressing.
  6. SoTired

    SoTired Well-Known Member

    And that's the biggest problem. I don't want to be alone, but I end up sabotaging relationships and friendships because I am too worried that I will screw them up too. Cripes, I can hear myself typing in anxious circles.
  7. SoTired

    SoTired Well-Known Member

    Well, just wanted to update with what I know for now. Platelets have gone up some (still not quite there, but getting better). But now my anxiety is getting worse because I'm going to have to do something about my friend and my living situation. I'm at my wits end.
  8. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi, keep talking as it will help with the aniexty you are feeling. The struggle is hard as sometimes it's about dealing with it on a hour by hour basis. Be strong my friend but we rally care about YOU. Be reassured you are not alone my friend.
  9. SoTired

    SoTired Well-Known Member

    Thank you. I know the talking helps, sometimes I just feel like I talk too much. Lol, sometimes I can't help laughing at my own issues. It looks so strange written down. Doctors are keeping me for at least another day, maybe longer depending on how I respond. Thanks again for the support. I don't want to think how much worse this would be if I didn't have a place to get all this out.
  10. SoTired

    SoTired Well-Known Member

    So some of the mental issues have been resolved, but upon talking to psych at the hospital, they decided to put me on a hold. Probably a good thing. I'll be talking to a psychiatrist tomorrow for evaluation. Hopefully things start working out. I'm trying to keep the bad thoughts away. Thank you for all of the help and support. You all have been great.