Need to know the point

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by LisaMarie, Oct 28, 2007.

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  1. LisaMarie

    LisaMarie Member

    I've had a pretty shit life, now I figure I've had enough. From a baby I was abused both physically & sexually by my mother father & even a brother. I went into care which I guess was ok but left at 16 to get married. I was beaten by my 1st husband & only plucked up the courage to leave him when my 13 month old daughter died after fighting illness all her life. I then walked into another relationship during which I was repeatedly raped & beaten up. I only got out of that after 7 years when he beat me so badly I ended up in hospital for 17 days. I seem to be depressed all the time but now I don't see the point. I'm totally useless at everything, anything I touch goes wrong & really want to die. Help!
  2. Destiny

    Destiny Member

    I see, I never really knew their were others out their with an even worse life than myself, and that makes me sick. What kind of world has this place become? BUt i don't want to complain, that won't help you will it?

    So, you feel as if you really can't trust anyone, not your parents, your loved ones. Now after so many things have gone horribly wrong, you feel as if nothing good will happen. I may not know you, but i don't want someone to ever feel that way.

    You've been staying strong for so long, that it's almost god like. Just remember, don't lose to anyone, woman have to stay strong too, it doesn't matter if your not complimented or rewarded. Never doubt the life you have, and always remember the strength to continue and laugh. I've done this song for a few other people and it seemed to have helped, so here:

    You’ve been hurt by unspeakable pain and sadness.
    Let’s carry each other’s indelible stains; don’t give up on living!

    I hold your hand…

    Will I end up losing them someday?
    I want to protect you and your fading smile, so…
    Even if the resounding voice calling me should wither
    Even if it gets erased by the wind along time..
    I will find you

    You’ve been hurt by unspeakable pain and sadness, but…
    Don’t say things like “I can’t laugh” or “I hate people.”
    There’s meaning in everything that happens in the unseen future.
    So stay as you are for now, I know there’ll come a time when you realize it.

    I know I'm a complete stranger but i want to help you. i'm not someone who has never experienced hardships, I've have been living and am still living a hell like life. That doesn't mean i enjoy seeing others who have it worse than me, it only makes me more determined to help them feel better about themselves, even if i still don't feel right myself.

    I know I'm not of much help but Please, live on, I can promise you, you'll find your happiness someday. Just never give up.
  3. LisaMarie

    LisaMarie Member

    Destiny. Thanks. Sorry you've got it bad. I haven't actually got any reason to feel like I do now, but that doesn't stop it, does it? I've been collecting meds for weeks, so think I've known for ages it's the only way to stop the pain. I really can't cope with the memories, the bad dreams & being a total failure. But thanks for replying. You take care
  4. Smashed__

    Smashed__ Well-Known Member

    I don't see anything you did as your fault, you didn't ask to raped, abused, beated, repeatedly. You didn't want lose family. You loved you little girl. none of its your fault. maybe you moved too fast..or going into another relationship so soon..but those things are hard to tell in the moment. I've never been in love or lust but I hear and see it makes people change. I think the best thing to do is not have a romantic relationship right need some healing time/time to be with yourself. I would suggest a therpist but I haven't had luck, and find that pointless.

  5. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    If you've faced such extreme pain and trauma at an early age, you know it has to get better. I think good times are waiting just ahead. Just know that you didn't ask to be abused, and only you can define the quality of your life.

    I hope this helps. I'm feeling like shit myself. Totally isolated, got no one to talk to. Take care, and take strength from the darkness.
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