Need to love yourself?

Discussion in 'Soap Box' started by Ziggy, Dec 14, 2008.

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  1. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    People hate themselves and that's a bad thing. And so they say you should love yourself... so if you love yourself you can love others and let others love you etc.

    But surely this is a bad thing too. I think the best thing is not to place too much emphasis on the 'self' in the first place. "I am what I am", as a great philosopher said (or was it Popeye? Can't quite remember)
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 14, 2008
  2. HappyAZaClaM

    HappyAZaClaM Guest

    actually, Brutisk said it first, but Popeye got the credit. the cartoon
    industry is a really cut throat world, Ziggy :laugh:
  3. lifeisashedog

    lifeisashedog Well-Known Member

    Some old man from our town, who suffered a lot in life (being a member of muslim community AND an alcoholic at the same time) put it this way:

    "To love yourself" means "to do the things you love"

    Which reminds me that I havent indulged myself with a good horror movie since friday. :eeek: I really should love myself a bit more :cuddle2:
  4. JohnADreams

    JohnADreams Well-Known Member

    Which is a bit silly of them to say. Not loving yourself doesn't make you incapable of loving others, just makes it so the majority of people wont give a damn about you.

    Yeah, maybe they should just say self acceptance rather than loving yourself.
  5. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    You have to have love to give love. If you don't have love for yourself, how could it extend to another person?
  6. JohnADreams

    JohnADreams Well-Known Member

    I don't extend a love for myself to someone else, I feel love for someone else because of their own attributes.
  7. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    Do you believe there a different kinds of love?

    I believe there is only one kind of love and that is true love. All else could go by another name like infatuation or romanticism (I think that's a word :laugh:).

    True love is love "just because"... it's unconditional. If love is specific and because of x, y, and z, then it's conditional, and it's not really love. That's how I see it at least.
  8. JohnADreams

    JohnADreams Well-Known Member

    Yeah I believe in different kinds of love. Platonic, infatuation, unconditional love etc. Unconditional is usually limited to family, specifically your own children and also applies to some spiritual beliefs.

    Although I don't believe in the popular vision of true love. True love is the fantasy of an unconditional, romantic infatuation, or in other words, an eternal honeymoon period that can not be broken by any situation or circumstance. Chasing after that idea has led to a fair few break ups.
  9. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    I don't believe in the popular vision either. But mainly because I don't think romantic infatuation can be coupled with unconditional love. I think romantic entails conditional. It's a specific love for a specific person with specific things that separate them from the rest. Unconditional is not specific but all-inclusive.

  10. HappyAZaClaM

    HappyAZaClaM Guest

    love is not a tangible commodity. I understand your philisophic
    viewpoint and I essentiall agree. but this is not something that
    has any rules or regs in the realm of physics.

    what IS love? I see you and John were discussing that. well, I have
    yet to hear a reasonable explanation or rather definition of love. it
    is different for different people in different situations.

    I do not understand this "love yourself before you can love another" stuff.

    most of the time when I have heard the reference, God was included.
    "you can't love another if you don't love yourself. and you can't love
    yourself if you don't love God"

    well, that's all hunky and dory and so on. but not necessarily accurate
    in even the most vague or debatable fashion. if may be true for you.
    but not true for the next guy. right?

    it's just a thing people say, and it doesn't necessarily mean a derned thing.
    at least that is my own opinion. this has been a recording :smile:
  11. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    But then what does it mean to love God. Being happy in a church, singing hymns and feeling blissed out isn't really loving God. Surely to love God is to follow God and to do His will. So if loving God is putting His interests ahead of your own interests, how does that help you love yourself?

    I like this quote... I guess that if love is about actions and not about feelings then by loving God, you're more likely to act in a way that will be beneficial to yourself? Though I suppose you don't really need God for this, common sense would do.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 15, 2008
  12. HappyAZaClaM

    HappyAZaClaM Guest

    that one fer me? I can only say, heck if I know. I was merely passing on the
    saying as I have heard it. I didn't say I 'got' it. I don't, in fact.

    love shmove. it'll all come out in the wash, I expect. I love my dog.
    I know that. as for romantic love, I think we all know how fleeting that is.
    gettin to the brass tacks of it all, I aint sure what this thread is about :rolleyes:
  13. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    This thread is like life, I'm not sure what it's about either, it's probably meaningless and not important either. It just happened really. :smile:

    That's the whole thing about how you see yourself, we say things and feel good about them when we think they're wise or funny or help us win an argument, and we feel bad about them when we sound stupid or they invite criticism. However there's no real need for this emotional rollercoaster because most of the stuff we say just isn't important.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 16, 2008
  14. Rolo555

    Rolo555 Well-Known Member

    You can't love God if God doesnt love you back. Or atleast you dont feel God loves you back.
  15. worlds edge

    worlds edge Well-Known Member

    Old thread on this exact topic. I still believe now what I believed then.
  16. HappyAZaClaM

    HappyAZaClaM Guest

    fair enough. I wasn't implying the thread was pointless. rather, I don't
    personally 'get' all this loving yourself jazz.

    it is interesting to see what people say or how they react.
  17. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    This thread wasn't really concerned about whether we can or even should love others. The point is that I think all this loving yourself, hating yourself stuff is just a negative consequence of an overly individualist culture. We look at ourselves like a painting and think we're like a beautiful painting or an ugly painting. I think that's a bad way of looking at ourselves. Instead I think we should see ourselves more like a jisaw piece, where the picture isn't important on its own, but understanding where we fit into the whole scheme of things is.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 17, 2008
  18. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    There is not one person, animal, atom in the entire universe that God does not have absolute unconditional love for. Even if you can't feel it, it is only because you are not accepting and allowing it to engulf you. It's always there, all around you. :heart:
  19. HappyAZaClaM

    HappyAZaClaM Guest

    ok, now that makes sense, is easy to comprehend and I personally
    agree 100%
  20. HappyAZaClaM

    HappyAZaClaM Guest

    doesn't that only work if ya believe in God? no offense, but this sounds
    like a bit of ...oh I don't want to use negative terms or inferences.
    it's a little vague. how bout that? anyway, yours is a religious or spiritually
    based opinion. there is no evidence that any of that stuff is even remotely
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