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need to vent

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by lostnconfused, Aug 9, 2007.

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  1. lostnconfused

    lostnconfused New Member

    I have come across this site a few time now in my usual late night depressive searches on the net and have read many of the posts on here and finally tonight decided to join so that i could not only try to help others but also maybe be helped?
    For a few years now i have fell in and out of bouts of depression ranging from fairly mild to extreeme leading to to date 3 attempted suicides. From reading others i feel pathetic as i have no big reason for feeling like shit, no major crisis in my life just a constant feeling of worthlessness.I dont get on with my family, feel like i live with strangers and the saying 'you can choose ur friends but not ur family' applies. with my friends im normal on the outside always smiling and keeping up the pretense that everything is fine, as there is no way ever i could tell them. After a day out with them i am physically exhausted from pretending and i no that they would be in total shock if they thought i was anything other than well balanced.
    Its all a lie though, i have a constant feeling of dread and worthlessness, every night i attempt to sleep and pray something will happen so i wont wake up and in the morning i hate opening my eyes to a new day, having to get up and emptily get on with going to work etc, i constantly think about ending it planning it so i wont fuck it up again. just dont no what to do anymore
  2. Isa

    Isa Well-Known Member

    lostandconfused you do realise that some forms of depression are caused by a chemical imbalance in your brain, not by life circumstances.

    If your feeling like you cant cope you should see a doctor, I know its hard & embarrassing but it could help you lead a happy life.

    Anyway, welcome
  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to SF. i am sure you will find the support you need here and we are also glad to accept any help you can offer. You do not have to feel bad that your problems don't seem to be coming from the same types of things as others here. All of our problems have validity. What may be a huge issue to you may not be to someone else and vice versa. It is all in how we deal with our issues. I hope to see you more around the forum. Maybe you could pop into chat and get a chance to meet a few people. Take care and see ya around. :hug:
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