So, idk how long this will be, but I really just need to get this out.. Any support/feedback or whatever always welcome. Basically, I've almost lost hope that it'll get better. I'm tired of fighting my depression, tired of fighting my urges.. I want to give up the fight.. But I can't because of the few people that still care. I don't know if it's necessarily death that I want. But I know I've lost the will to live. And I doubt I'm living any more. Each day I wake up alive, and I'm just.. indifferent about the whole thing. I wouldn't care if I die tomorrow, but I wouldn't care if I keep existing. I don't feel like my family cares about me, and my sister, who is 11, told me she wouldn't care if I died. And I'm sure she'd prefer it sometimes. My mum, well.. She treats me like rubbish most of the time. I can't do anything right, and anything that goes wrong is my fault. I feel so lost and broken and I dont know what to do.. Memories of of past events are getting stronger and harder to deal with, my self harm urges are getting stronger (it's been over two months), I'm under heaps of stress from school end of year exams, which determine my future. I can't take a lot more, yet I'll always answer a request for help, no matter my state. So it isnt just my depression I'm fighting, it's other people's as well. And even if I give up the fight to my own depression, I'll still be fighting for other people. I just can't really take it right now.. And if you bothered to read me pretty much complaining, thankyou.