I need some advice has anyone faced their abusers and told them how they feel about what happened after they had grown to be an adult. My mother is my abuser and I have been out on my own for about 5 years now. But my mother still trys to control me in other ways such as saying I do not care about my family, that I care about the firehall more than anyone else and she even has went so far as to say my wedding is going to be trash since she is not able to do stuff her way. she has sent a letter to my fiance saying this stuff and he is not happy. He is wanting to not let her be at the wedding for fear of her stirring something up. It is coming to a point I may have to face her and talk to her about things before the wedding in may. It may even come to a point we would have to ban her from the wedding and from seeing me for a time period.