I am feeling very suicidal right now and I have had several attempts. The last one last May was almost successful and it would be easy to do again. I am going through a divorce after 30 years of marriage and I still love her very much. I am an outcast with most of my family. I am schizophrenic, diabetic and have a rare genetic disorder with a not so good prognosis. I am in pain in both body and mind. I am getting tired of this rollercoaster ride and reaching the end of my rope. I am also disabled and cannot afford my medications with no health insurance except for Medicare part A. I am tired of fighting.