I want to cut so badly. It is all I can think about at the moment. But I know if I do, and my doctor finds out, I will be put back in hospital. I have already been in twice over the past two weeks, I don't want to go in again. I have to see the doctors and councillors everyday at the moment. They tell me that if I want to cut, to call them. But if I call them now, they will put me in hospital. If I don't call them, and they find out that I have been cutting, they will put me in hospital. Even if they suspect that I will cut, and don't think I'm safe on my own, they will put me in hospital. I know that I'm not safe on my own, but I don't want to go back. I just want all the shit to stop. I just want to cut, so that for five minutes I will feel okay again. It's the only thing right now that will make me feel better.